Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen

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January 15th, 2010

So, I have been dodging my Trainer’s phone calls. For the past couple of days, that man has been calling me non-stop. Is it by force?! I don’t want to do, I don’t want to do! Everyone should just leave me be, abeg!!

Why would I want to go to the gym, when I can drop off the kids at school, and come home to enjoy cakes and ice-cream, and watch TV movies until it’s literally time for the afternoon pick up.

Speaking of cakes…

“Madam, did you travel?” was the question from the Sales Girl, at the bakery in the estate, where I used to get my baked treats from before.

I knew she didn’t mean this brief trip to the East, but something that went even further back. Before I started my now aborted weight loss regime, I was a regular here. Every day, I would be there to buy bread for my family, but would soon end up leaving with almost all flavours of cakes they had.

And yesterday was no different.

As if to make up for lost time, I ordered every, and any, cake I could find! Plain sponge, frosted sponge, carrot, chocolate gateaux, red velvet…my bag was bursting by the time I left.

And lying on my couch now, eating a slice of white forrest, it feels like I’m in heaven.

I haven’t been able to look at the mirror though. And I haven’t had the courage to wear any of the clothes from before the trip to East. So, I had happily returned to my ever-faithful tunics. Ever forgiving, they have not allowed me really see what kind of harm I am doing to myself.

I spent the morning reading a play called Fat Pig by Neil LaBute. I love reading plays because I am able to just zoom through them. They get to the point very very quickly. The book was about positive reinforcement, plain and simple; just like how losing lots of weight during the first couple weeks of South Beach or Atkins makes you want to keep going.

The play tells the story about a regular-sized guy, who starts dating a fat girl, but feels very insecure about it, especially after his colleagues find out. I’d fully recommend it, except for the fact that the end is depressing. Well, I suppose most good plays end sadly.

I love reading literature that addresses fat prejudice. But beyond just the fat discrimination, the play explores how people would like to stand up for what they believe in, but usually choose to travel travel the path of least resistance.

It was also good to see a confident, self-assured, fat character in literature. In this play, the fat girl, Helen, is actually the most likable character. Fat people are tend to be the villains, or goofy sidekicks, or just plain losers. I read a romance novel a month or two ago, that I found very annoying! There was one character who was the annoying, spoiled brat of the heroine’s no-good fiancé. She was also fat. The author kept stressing on this point, like the fact that this girl was fat was just as bad as the fact that she lied, cheated and stole.

Now, I do not have exact demographics on the people who buy romance novels. However, I would not be surprised if a lot of them were overweight women. I also know from looking at the cover on a couple of romance novels, that a lot of romance authors are overweight women. So, why would someone insult their target audience, not to mention colleagues, in such a way?! I had to wonder if this author even realizes how offensive she is being.

Biting into my cake, I thought about what all the people in my life would say, if they could see now. Definitely something about how I am risking my health, with my lifestyle.

I can’t help but get the impression that telling someone they should lose weight, because it’s a health issue, is just a politically correct way of saying fat people disgust them. Truth. But that’s their problem. I don’t see many people running around with glucometers, warning fat people that they’re about to become diabetic. If someone doesn’t like fat people, I wish they’d have the courage to say it, and not hide behind the “It’s bad for your health” charade.

A great analogy is that I don’t like cigarette smoke. I think it smells gross. Whenever I visit my smoker friends, or go to a bar or something, the first thing I do when I get home is throw all my clothes in the washing machine, and then take a shower. That smoke smell manages stick to every single fiber and every hair it brushes agains.

Yes, yes…smoking will kill you. I would guess more people could tell you that smoking is fatal than otherwise! If someone is smoking around me, I could always say “You really shouldn’t smoke. You’re going to get cancer and/or emphysema.” But honestly, would I really care if some anonymous stranger is hacking up their blackened lungs 20 years from now? Not at all. I don’t want to inhale their second-hand carcinogens. Instead, the approach I use borders something around “I don’t like the smell of smoke. Could you please smoke elsewhere?” I don’t pretend to care about the state of their air passageways.

Back on this weight matter, if someone says “You should lose weight because it’s unhealthy”, unless said person is a friend or family member who might actually have to pay for my funeral arrangements, or at least send a tasteful flower bouquet If tomorrow, all the scientists came out and said “Oops! We were totally wrong. Being fat is actually good for your health.” Would fat people suddenly be embraced and glorified? I bet all my naira, and that they would not. Because it’s really not about health. It’s about appearances, and all the power that goes along with beauty…and what beauty is perceived to be.

So, if you think fat people are ugly or disgusting, just admit it. We all have prejudices and the only way to start overcoming them is to face them. Don’t hide behind a smokescreen!

 

 

Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated

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