Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated!

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January 14th, 2010

It’s been three days since I sent the e-mail to my sisters, and I am tired of refreshing my inbox, waiting for their reply. There has been absolutely nothing from them…not an e-mail, phone call, BBM, or anything. It’s been cold radio silence.

So, I decided to call Chidera instead. She is just like a sister to me, and, as we grew up together, she saw first hand pretty much everything, and knows exactly all that transpired.

I told her everything about the visit with my Dad, without missing a single detail. I wanted to know if I had allowed myself get carried away, and what she thought about the odd chance that he’s not the bad guy after all.

She listened with rapt attention, and I was shocked when her reaction mirrored mine. She too had always wondered why her father had remained friendly with the ‘beast’ whose actions had killed his sister! She too recalled her father’s mysterious parables, anytime we were vocal about our hatred for my own father. But what she found even more strange was the fact that her mother, the bona fide Voltron, defender of anything to do with women’s rights, was also not quick to vilify my Dad…choosing instead to blame my Mom’s weight for her own premature demise.

It was clear that the older people knew something we didn’t. Alas, both her parents are no longer alive, and thus we don’t have anybody to ask, for verification.

“But there’s Aunty Caroline! We could always ask her.” Chidera suggested.

Ah! Aunty Caroline! She whose name must not be repeated!

She is the youngest of my mother’s siblings, and the only woman not affected by the fat gene. I have vague memories of her coming to our house when I was really young; she was beautiful, fashionable, and oh-so-smart! She and my father got along like a house on fire, a fact that irritated my Mother no end. She had thought Dad was attracted to her sister, because she was slim and beautiful. But, in hindsight, it might have been the fact that they were both in the academia, and thus had a lot more to talk about.

Things had reached boiling point, when I was probably about 9 years old, when Mom had come home to realize her sister had been in our house all day, working on her thesis with my father. All explanations of the visit being for academic reasons bounced off my Mother’s deaf ears, and she had chosen to create a scene, reigning loud abuse on her sister, dragging her by her blouse, and accusing her of trying to ‘snatch# her husband! That had been the last time Aunty Caroline had been to our house.

As kids, my sisters and I had been programmed to hate this woman. She was the one who had tried to destroy our parents’ marriage, was what had been drummed into our ears. So, we had been taught how to avoid her, at family gatherings, and if avoiding her wasn’t possible, to pretty much ignore her.

And this all 3 of us had done, for almost 30 years! Whenever she visited Uncle Osita, Chidera’s father, my sisters and I knew how to make ourselves scarce. At my mother’s funeral, my sister, Akwaugo, had gotten into a verbal altercation with her, after one-too-many attempts to get close to us. Their argument had caused an embarrassing scene, and that had been when she had also chosen to just let us be.

What could she possibly know about these new revelations?!

“She always asks about you, Ogo, and Ugo.” Chidera continued.

“Where is she now? What is she up to?” I asked, my interest suddenly piqued.

“She’s moved to Abuja now. She just retired from Federal University of Technology, Minna.”

I nodded absent mindedly. Nah, Aunty Caroline has nothing for me.

Changing the topic, I told Chidera all about Uzoamaka’s death, and her shock and devastation almost mirrored my own. Over the years, she too had gotten to know her, and even though we gossiped about her most of the time, losing someone that close really stung.

“No wonder! I was going to ask if you’re okay. This is not the same person I spoke with over the holidays! You seemed so much more enthusiastic,” she observed.

Yeah, she was correct. I haven’t been the same since I heard about Uzoamaka. Apart from feeling drained and lethargic, I find myself no longer excited about the things I was before hearing the news. Ezioma, my sister-in-law, has been on my case to confirm our trip for the end of the month. I no longer even know if this business is something I want to do sef. I just feel so…so…so flat!

And the food….hmm, don’t get me started!

I have been eating like there’s no tomorrow. For some reason, my brain can’t seem to remember the joy and satisfaction I used to get from my healthy smoothies and salads. No. All I can seem to remember, and crave for, are things that are definitely not good for me.

Still haven’t made it to the gym either. Not sure when I will get back on track…or if I ever will.

Maybe I was destined to be a fat girl!

 

 

Photo Credits

  1. http://www.clker.com

 

Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail

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1 COMMENT

  1. @ihunna you need a reset button. You are not destined to be fat, Get up, shake yourself and get back into your routine.
    I bet you want to be a grandmother right? That hardwork starts now!!!!
    :hugs:

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