Confessions of a Fat Girl 211: Wonder Woman

2
979

November 28, 2010

Alas, our grand plans of hitting the shops as early as 6am on Black Friday, were nothing but a pipe dream. Apart from being all tired and stressed from Thanksgiving preps, we were missing our rallying force…the one person who would have been sure to drag us out of bed by 5am, to ensure we were on the road, headed to the outlet malls, so we could be well positioned before 7, 8am. And that person is, alas, thousands of miles away in Nigeria this year. Ogonna. Wonder woman!

Instead, neither Akwaugo nor I opened our eyes before 9am, and by the time we reluctantly dragged ourselves downtown to Macy’s (no driving for hours to any malls for us), the place was sheer mayhem, and the shelves were almost empty.

“Chai! I miss Ogonna oh!” Akwaugo remarked, biting her finger.

True, this time in years gone by, all three of us would have been laden with our loot from our shopping spree, and sometimes even laughing at latecomers arriving after all the good stuff was gone. Alas, we were the latecomers this year!

Not to be outdone, Akwaugo and I decided to make lemonade from our lemons, and instead of shop, opted to be mall rats instead; cruising around, and belly laughing at all the shenanigans people got up to. Gosh! People and shopping sha!

By early afternoon, we returned home and had a good time, eating leftovers and watching movies.

Saturday soon rolled along, and I woke up with a start, remembering all the things I was yet to buy, despite the fact that I was to travel out out of New York that night. And so, I had no choice but to hit the shops…again…but this time, solo. Thankfully, I was able to locate most of the things from JJ’s and my kids’ wish lists. Most.

By evening, Akwaugo and Chiemela drove me to JFK Airport, and by 8pm, I was airborne back to Nigeria!

Getting back home felt so good. As always, JJ was there to pick me up…and as always, was a sight for my sore eyes! Hugging him, it felt so good to be back home, in the arms of the man who loves me! And then getting back to my brood of 6 kids (my three, and Chidera’s three), my joy just felt complete.

“Where is Legachi? Didn’t she know I was coming today? Or did she go for evening Mass?” I asked, when I realized she was glaringly absent.

“She knows.” was all JJ offered, not saying any more.

Okay then! I take it we still have trouble with the young woman.

True to my words, at about 9pm that evening, she strolled into the house, an aloof expression on her face. Sizing her up from the corner of my eye, I could tell she’d spent the whole day with Ahanna…or whatever his name is. But I decided against confronting her. If she feels she’s a big girl, let her go ahead and make big girl mistakes.

“Welcome.” she mumbled.

“Thank you.” I mumbled right back, not looking up from the sales ledger for my shop.

She stood in front of me for a few minutes, shifting from foot to foot. I could tell she was at a loss about how to respond to me, and whether or not she would get a walloping from me, for whatever reason.

“Is there any problem?” I asked, looking up, after she’d stood there for a while.

“Mba, Sis.” she answered. “How…how is Sister Akwaugo? And her kids? And Uncle Chiemela? And Sis Chichi?

“All very well, thank you.” I muttered, still not looking up.

“Were you able to buy a fine wedding gown for her?”

I made a show of dropping my pen on my notepad, just to show my irritation, and looked up at her. “We did, Legachi!”

She put her hands up. “Sorry oh. I was only checking on you.”

“Checking on me indeed! You knew I was coming back today, but you just ran off with man! I have been in this house for 3 good hours, and yet you stroll in here, asking about Akwaugo’s wedding gown. You’re a very silly girl! Biko, clear from my sight!” I exploded, shocking even myself.

“But Sis…I didn’t know you’d want me here…” was her own lame excuse.

“I said clear out of my sight!” I yelled, several decibels louder than what was usual for me.

Her face crumbled and her shoulders sank, after which she turned around and walked away. Watching her go, I felt the briefest feeling of grief for her. Extremely brief.

She can’t expect a hug and kiss on the cheek, when she doesn’t work for it!

As for me, I’m pretty eager to get this weight loss thing going. I’ll give myself a small breather tomorrow, but on Tuesday like this, I’ll very surely be hitting the gym. I didn’t weigh myself once when I was in NYC…not even when I was weighing my luggage before my flight. It used to be my routine…pack, weigh boxes, weigh self. But as I packed on Friday night, I was scared of what number would greet me.

And so I chickened out!

However, by Tuesday, I should be back on the grind. So help me God!!!

 

 

Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret
  91. Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to move on
  92. Confessions of a Fat Girl 92: Have some fruit!
  93. Confessions of a Fat Girl 93: Family Easter
  94. Confessions of a Fat Girl 94: Sister Reunion
  95. Confessions of a Fat Girl 95: Perfect Fit; Perfect Surprise
  96. Confessions of a Fat Girl 96: The Love Story
  97. Confessions of a Fat Girl 97: Caught in the middle
  98. Confessions of a Fat Girl 98: Kisses…and Blood
  99. Confessions of a Fat Girl 99: Past…or Present Tense
  100. Confessions of a Fat Girl 100: Jewel
  101. Confessions of a Fat Girl 101: “Ill find you…and I’ll kill you”
  102. Confessions of a Fat Girl 102: Homecoming
  103. Confessions of a Fat Girl 103: Fever Pitch
  104. Confessions of a Fat Girl 104: Whodunit?
  105. Confessions of a Fat Girl 105: The Hypocrite
  106. Confessions of a Fat Girl 106: Message from Mom
  107. Confessions of a Fat Girl 107: Accountability & Responsibility
  108. Confessions of a Fat Girl 108: It’s for the best
  109. Confessions of a Fat Girl 109: Port Harcourt
  110. Confessions of a Fat Girl 110: While you were away
  111. Confessions of a Fat Girl 111: Planning…and a little bit of Salmon
  112. Confessions of a Fat Girl 112: Putting yourself first
  113. Confessions of a Fat Girl 113: Fruit Crumble
  114. Confessions of a Fat Girl 114: Resting Heart Rate
  115. Confessions of a Fat Girl 115: Shishi, he no get
  116. Confessions of a Fat Girl 116: The truth hurts
  117. Confessions of a Fat Girl 117: Veggie Burger
  118. Confessions of a Fat Girl 118: Weight Watchers Porn
  119. Confessions of a Fat Girl 119: The Worst That Can Happen
  120. Confessions of a Fat Girl 120: Baby Dady
  121. Confessions of a Fat Girl 121: Not a Player
  122. Confessions of a Fat Girl 122: Fat versus Fit Brain
  123. Confessions of a Fat Girl 123: Aunty Caroline
  124. Confessions of a Fat Girl 124: Delete his number
  125. Confessions of a Fat Girl 125: Meal Planning
  126. Confessions of a Fat Girl 126: Food Shopping
  127. Confessions of a Fat Girl 127: The Baby Bump
  128. Confessions of a Fat Girl 128: Cavorting, Prevention & Spunk
  129. Confessions of a Fat Girl 129: The secret is out
  130. Confessions of a Fat Girl 130: Postpone the inevitable
  131. Confessions of a Fat Girl 131: Queen of Wishful Thinking
  132. Confessions of a Fat Girl 132: Fat Prison
  133. Confessions of a Fat Girl 133: Some time away
  134. Confessions of a Fat Girl 134: Taking life too seriously
  135. Confessions of a Fat Girl 135: Is this really me?
  136. Confessions of a Fat Girl 136: Soothing
  137. Confessions of a Fat Girl 137: Welcome to the real world
  138. Confessions of a Fat Girl 138: The Storm
  139. Confessions of a Fat Girl 139: Head up!
  140. Confessions of a Fat Girl 140: Half-Year Check
  141. Confessions of a Fat Girl 141: Leave him for his wife
  142. Confessions of a Fat Girl 142: The Plan
  143. Confessions of a Fat Girl 143: Leave of Absence
  144. Confessions of a Fat Girl 144: A Convenient Life
  145. Confessions of a Fat Girl 145: Sensible Snacking
  146. Confessions of a Fat Girl 146: Choices
  147. Confessions of a Fat Girl 147: Probing Questions
  148. Confessions of a Fat Girl 148: Travel Arrangements
  149. Confessions of a Fat Girl 149: The best feeling ever
  150. Confessions of a Fat Girl 150: Not happy
  151. Confessions of a Fat Girl 151: Still Married
  152. Confessions of a Fat Girl 152: Heartbreak
  153. Confessions of a Fat Girl 153: You complete me
  154. Confessions of a Fat Girl 154: Make it work
  155. Confessions of a Fat Girl 155: Love Weight
  156. Confessions of a Fat Girl 156: Pretty Girl
  157. Confessions of a Fat Girl 157: Juice Fast Prep
  158. Confessions of a Fat Girl 158: Better this way
  159. Confessions of a Fat Girl 159: Eat the doughnut
  160. Confessions of a Fat Girl 160: The Stroke
  161. Confessions of a Fat Girl 161: The Hardest Part
  162. Confessions of a Fat Girl 162: Blame Game
  163. Confessions of a Fat Girl 163: A Cerebral Affair
  164. Confessions of a Fat Girl 164: An Epiphany
  165. Confessions of a Fat Girl 165: Regret…Healing
  166. Confessions of a Fat Girl 166: The Old Man’s Talisman
  167. Confessions of a Fat Girl 167: Party in the mouth
  168. Confessions of a Fat Girl 168: The last piece of the puzzle
  169. Confessions of a Fat Girl 169: Ogonna’s Plan
  170. Confessions of a Fat Girl 170: Casual Bystander
  171. Confessions of a Fat Girl 171: My own two eyes 
  172. Confessions of a Fat Girl 172: Leading Lady
  173. Confessions of a Fat Girl 173: Longtime Boyfriend
  174. Confessions of a Fat Girl 174: Bone Dry
  175. Confessions of a Fat Girl 175: Divorcing
  176. Confessions of a Fat Girl 176: Looking out for myself
  177. Confessions of a Fat Girl 177: Dispassionate
  178. Confessions of a Fat Girl 178: Making Amends
  179. Confessions of a Fat Girl 179: You showed your hands
  180. Confessions of a Fat Girl 180: Winter Wonderland
  181. Confessions of a Fat Girl 181: Love conquers all
  182. Confessions of a Fat Girl 182: Business Head
  183. Confessions of a Fat Girl 183: This One Won’t Hurt
  184. Confessions of a Fat Girl 184: Risqué 
  185. Confessions of a Fat Girl 185: Root Canal
  186. Confessions of a Fat Girl 186: No more excuses
  187. Confessions of a Fat Girl 187: Back on the wagon
  188. Confessions of a Fat Girl 188: Big Girls Club
  189. Confessions of a Fat Girl 189: Tired of being pregnant
  190. Confessions of a Fat Girl 190: Beef Stroganoff 
  191. Confessions of Fat Girl 191: Scared…Excited
  192. Confessions of a Fat Girl 192: An Older Man
  193. Confessions of a Fat Girl 193: Futility
  194. Confessions of a Fat Girl 194: Fluke Pregnancy
  195. Confessions of a Fat Girl 195: Naive 
  196. Confessions of a Fat Girl 196: Nowhere to hide
  197. Confessions of a Fat Girl 197: The Snob
  198. Confessions of a Fat Girl 198: Sweet Freedom
  199. Confessions of a Fat Girl 199: The Bribe
  200. Confessions of a Fat Girl 200: Humour Transplant
  201. Confessions of a Fat Girl 201: The Pressure
  202. Confessions of a Fat Girl 202: Tame the beast
  203. Confessions of a Fat Girl 203: Underaged Birthday Boo
  204. Confessions of a Fat Girl 204: Blame it on the Attitude
  205. Confessions of a Fat Girl 205: The Gown…The Groom
  206. Confessions of a Fat Girl 206: Aborted Appointment
  207. Confessions of a Fat Girl 207: Sugar Fix
  208. Confessions of a Fat Girl 208: Residual Bleeding
  209. Confessions of a Fat Girl 209: Catching Feelings
  210. Confessions of a Fat Girl 210: Thanksgiving

0

2 COMMENTS

  1. Welcome back Ihunna. Go easy on Legachi biko. Pls don’t allow experience show her pepper biko. Give her a heads up like d big sister u r n break her in gently. ..

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here