Confessions of a Fat Girl 203: Underaged Birthday Boo

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November 20, 2010

I woke up this morning feeling so proud of myself! Three days in NYC, and I haven’t fallen off the food wagon even once. I have been able to resist all the usual sweet treats, including the lure of my favorite cake shop a few blocks away from Akwaugo’s apartment. I succeeded in sticking to a dedicated diet of yoghurts, fruits, vegetables, and fish. So far, so good. Until later today! When birthday cake refused to allow me be great!

So, we all ended up driving to Fair Lawn to see Chidera and Okei. I use the word ‘all’ loosely. Akwaugo’s kids excused themselves from the trip so fast, it almost left me wondering if they thought we were headed to a gas chamber. But I reckon wasting a Saturday afternoon on their pregnant aunt isn’t their idea of fun. It wouldn’t have been mine either, to be honest.

“I don’t know how I got talked into this trip!” Akwaugo muttered, for the umpteenth time.

“Why are you bitching about it? When last did you see Chichi? Or don’t you like Okei?” I just had to ask.

“It’s not like I don’t like Okei. I’m indifferent to him.” my sister answered. “Chichi and her underage boo are the least of my problems right now!”

Chiemela gave her a look from the side of his eye, as he drove. “I’d like to hear this your long list of ‘problems’!”

“You know exactly what I mean!” had been her response.

Luckily, he hadn’t pressed any further, and we’d driven in silence for the remainder of the 45 minute journey.

Getting to Fair Lawn, I’d been elated to see a very pregnant Chidera, beaming from ear to ear. It was the happiest I’d seen her look in a long time. Okei also looked pretty excited himself. The house had been gayly decorated and there was a brightly colored cake on the dining table, in the middle of a generous spread of what looked like Nigerian food.

“Wow! You really went all out oh!” Akwaugo remarked, her eyes twinkling.

“I found a Nigerian caterer in Jersey!” Chidera remarked. “And someone from Ogonna’s clinic came to decorate.”

“Are we expecting any more people?” I asked.

“No. It’s just you guys.” Chidera answered. “I tried to invite Okei’s cousins from Brooklyn, but they said they have to work today .”

“They’ll be here tomorrow though.” Okei chimed in. “After church.”

“So if we hadn’t come, there would have been no party?” Akwaugo asked incredulously.

Chidera gave her an irritated look. “I knew Ihunna would come, even if you didn’t.” then smiling at Chiemela. “And of course, Chiemela!”

I looked from my sister to my cousin, not missing the tension, and wondered if anything had gone down between the two of them.

All through lunch, I watched Okei in amazement, and I have to admit that I was impressed by the way he catered to Chidera. He didn’t allow her lift even her pinky finger, and happily went about the task of getting everyone served. He even declined any help from me. Akwaugo didn’t offer.

“Nonsense, Ihunna! You are our special guest!” he’d protested, when I went to the kitchen, to help him heat up some food.

“How can I be the special guest when you are the birthday boy?” I laughed.

He looked at me, and I could see he was serious. “No, Ihunna. You are the special one! You don’t know how grateful I am for everything you’ve done for Chidera. Taking care of her kids, while she’s away. And so well that she isn’t even worried about them.” he shook his head and smiled. “Some day, we are going to thank you properly! But for now, let us treat you like the VIP you are!”

I placed my hand my chest, touched beyond words. That was the moment, the very moment, that any doubts I had about him disappeared. Yes, he’s almost a decade younger than us…but it looks like he has the ability to love her just as well as, if not so much better than, a man her age.

After lunch, Chidera insisted on us singing happy birthday to Okei, and made him go through the motions of lighting, and then blowing out candles on his birthday cake, complete with wearing a birthday hat. It was going so well, until Akwaugo decided to spoil the mood.

“So how did you spend your last birthday, Okei?” she asked, as I helped cut the birthday cake. “With your wife, I’m sure.”

My hand froze atop the knife, and I glared at my sister, speechless. Chiemela almost choked on his drink, and Chidera looked like she would burst with rage.

But Okei kept it cool.

“Actually, no.” he answered. “We were preparing to get married.”

Akwaugo’s mouth dropped in feigned shock. “What?! So your marriage didn’t last up to a year? Not even six months?! Chidera, did you know about this?”

“That’s enough, ‘Ugo!” Chiemela said, his voice firm.

“What is even your plan for after the baby?” Akwaugo continued, unperturbed. “You quit your job and came here to stay with your baby mama! In about a month, the baby will be here. Are you going to continue living off your sugar mommy? Are you hopeful that she will get you papers? She no get papers oh, so don’t deceive yourself.”

“What is wrong with you?!” Chidera exploded, her breathing labored.

“Baby, let me.” Okei interjected, smiling. “For your information, Akwaugo, I’m not living off Chidera. In fact, I have assumed responsibility for all her medical bills. I’m here with her because I want to be…because I love her…because it’s my responsibility. As for what next? Trust me when I say Chidera and I have it all figured out. And F.Y.I., I’m the one who will be filing for papers for her.”

“You have a Green Card?” Akwaugo asked, her brow arched in curiosity.

“A passport actually.” Okei answered, with just a little dose of smugness, enough to make me smile and almost give him a High-5!

“Akwaugo, I think you should leave now.” Chidera said, rising to her feet. “I really would have loved to spend time with you, Ihunna, but I can’t be in the same room as your sister for another minute.”

Akwaugo hissed. “I didn’t even want to come all the way here anyway!” and then grabbing a large slice of cake and wrapping it in foil paper, she spun around and stormed out of the house.

“What was that about? Did anything happen between you two?” I asked Chidera.

“Your sister is just something else! I’ve had enough of her!” Chidera seethed in response.

“I’m really so sorry about all that. I don’t know what got into her.” Chiemela said apologetically. “Ihunna, if you want to stay, I can come back to pick you tomorrow.”

“Oh would you?!” Chidera and I exclaimed, almost in unison.

“I also want to give Akwaugo a sound telling off, so it might be best if we ride alone anyway.” he answered.

Yep. My sister sure needs that! I don’t know why, but she’s been a different person since I arrived in NYC.

 

 

Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret
  91. Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to move on
  92. Confessions of a Fat Girl 92: Have some fruit!
  93. Confessions of a Fat Girl 93: Family Easter
  94. Confessions of a Fat Girl 94: Sister Reunion
  95. Confessions of a Fat Girl 95: Perfect Fit; Perfect Surprise
  96. Confessions of a Fat Girl 96: The Love Story
  97. Confessions of a Fat Girl 97: Caught in the middle
  98. Confessions of a Fat Girl 98: Kisses…and Blood
  99. Confessions of a Fat Girl 99: Past…or Present Tense
  100. Confessions of a Fat Girl 100: Jewel
  101. Confessions of a Fat Girl 101: “Ill find you…and I’ll kill you”
  102. Confessions of a Fat Girl 102: Homecoming
  103. Confessions of a Fat Girl 103: Fever Pitch
  104. Confessions of a Fat Girl 104: Whodunit?
  105. Confessions of a Fat Girl 105: The Hypocrite
  106. Confessions of a Fat Girl 106: Message from Mom
  107. Confessions of a Fat Girl 107: Accountability & Responsibility
  108. Confessions of a Fat Girl 108: It’s for the best
  109. Confessions of a Fat Girl 109: Port Harcourt
  110. Confessions of a Fat Girl 110: While you were away
  111. Confessions of a Fat Girl 111: Planning…and a little bit of Salmon
  112. Confessions of a Fat Girl 112: Putting yourself first
  113. Confessions of a Fat Girl 113: Fruit Crumble
  114. Confessions of a Fat Girl 114: Resting Heart Rate
  115. Confessions of a Fat Girl 115: Shishi, he no get
  116. Confessions of a Fat Girl 116: The truth hurts
  117. Confessions of a Fat Girl 117: Veggie Burger
  118. Confessions of a Fat Girl 118: Weight Watchers Porn
  119. Confessions of a Fat Girl 119: The Worst That Can Happen
  120. Confessions of a Fat Girl 120: Baby Dady
  121. Confessions of a Fat Girl 121: Not a Player
  122. Confessions of a Fat Girl 122: Fat versus Fit Brain
  123. Confessions of a Fat Girl 123: Aunty Caroline
  124. Confessions of a Fat Girl 124: Delete his number
  125. Confessions of a Fat Girl 125: Meal Planning
  126. Confessions of a Fat Girl 126: Food Shopping
  127. Confessions of a Fat Girl 127: The Baby Bump
  128. Confessions of a Fat Girl 128: Cavorting, Prevention & Spunk
  129. Confessions of a Fat Girl 129: The secret is out
  130. Confessions of a Fat Girl 130: Postpone the inevitable
  131. Confessions of a Fat Girl 131: Queen of Wishful Thinking
  132. Confessions of a Fat Girl 132: Fat Prison
  133. Confessions of a Fat Girl 133: Some time away
  134. Confessions of a Fat Girl 134: Taking life too seriously
  135. Confessions of a Fat Girl 135: Is this really me?
  136. Confessions of a Fat Girl 136: Soothing
  137. Confessions of a Fat Girl 137: Welcome to the real world
  138. Confessions of a Fat Girl 138: The Storm
  139. Confessions of a Fat Girl 139: Head up!
  140. Confessions of a Fat Girl 140: Half-Year Check
  141. Confessions of a Fat Girl 141: Leave him for his wife
  142. Confessions of a Fat Girl 142: The Plan
  143. Confessions of a Fat Girl 143: Leave of Absence
  144. Confessions of a Fat Girl 144: A Convenient Life
  145. Confessions of a Fat Girl 145: Sensible Snacking
  146. Confessions of a Fat Girl 146: Choices
  147. Confessions of a Fat Girl 147: Probing Questions
  148. Confessions of a Fat Girl 148: Travel Arrangements
  149. Confessions of a Fat Girl 149: The best feeling ever
  150. Confessions of a Fat Girl 150: Not happy
  151. Confessions of a Fat Girl 151: Still Married
  152. Confessions of a Fat Girl 152: Heartbreak
  153. Confessions of a Fat Girl 153: You complete me
  154. Confessions of a Fat Girl 154: Make it work
  155. Confessions of a Fat Girl 155: Love Weight
  156. Confessions of a Fat Girl 156: Pretty Girl
  157. Confessions of a Fat Girl 157: Juice Fast Prep
  158. Confessions of a Fat Girl 158: Better this way
  159. Confessions of a Fat Girl 159: Eat the doughnut
  160. Confessions of a Fat Girl 160: The Stroke
  161. Confessions of a Fat Girl 161: The Hardest Part
  162. Confessions of a Fat Girl 162: Blame Game
  163. Confessions of a Fat Girl 163: A Cerebral Affair
  164. Confessions of a Fat Girl 164: An Epiphany
  165. Confessions of a Fat Girl 165: Regret…Healing
  166. Confessions of a Fat Girl 166: The Old Man’s Talisman
  167. Confessions of a Fat Girl 167: Party in the mouth
  168. Confessions of a Fat Girl 168: The last piece of the puzzle
  169. Confessions of a Fat Girl 169: Ogonna’s Plan
  170. Confessions of a Fat Girl 170: Casual Bystander
  171. Confessions of a Fat Girl 171: My own two eyes 
  172. Confessions of a Fat Girl 172: Leading Lady
  173. Confessions of a Fat Girl 173: Longtime Boyfriend
  174. Confessions of a Fat Girl 174: Bone Dry
  175. Confessions of a Fat Girl 175: Divorcing
  176. Confessions of a Fat Girl 176: Looking out for myself
  177. Confessions of a Fat Girl 177: Dispassionate
  178. Confessions of a Fat Girl 178: Making Amends
  179. Confessions of a Fat Girl 179: You showed your hands
  180. Confessions of a Fat Girl 180: Winter Wonderland
  181. Confessions of a Fat Girl 181: Love conquers all
  182. Confessions of a Fat Girl 182: Business Head
  183. Confessions of a Fat Girl 183: This One Won’t Hurt
  184. Confessions of a Fat Girl 184: Risqué 
  185. Confessions of a Fat Girl 185: Root Canal
  186. Confessions of a Fat Girl 186: No more excuses
  187. Confessions of a Fat Girl 187: Back on the wagon
  188. Confessions of a Fat Girl 188: Big Girls Club
  189. Confessions of a Fat Girl 189: Tired of being pregnant
  190. Confessions of a Fat Girl 190: Beef Stroganoff 
  191. Confessions of Fat Girl 191: Scared…Excited
  192. Confessions of a Fat Girl 192: An Older Man
  193. Confessions of a Fat Girl 193: Futility
  194. Confessions of a Fat Girl 194: Fluke Pregnancy
  195. Confessions of a Fat Girl 195: Naive 
  196. Confessions of a Fat Girl 196: Nowhere to hide
  197. Confessions of a Fat Girl 197: The Snob
  198. Confessions of a Fat Girl 198: Sweet Freedom
  199. Confessions of a Fat Girl 199: The Bribe
  200. Confessions of a Fat Girl 200: Humour Transplant
  201. Confessions of a Fat Girl 201: The Pressure
  202. Confessions of a Fat Girl 202: Tame the beast

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5 COMMENTS

  1. Underaged bobo is living up to his responsibilities! Ugo biko snap put of it – we don’t want u scaring Chiemela away with this bridezilla judgmental behaviour.

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