Confessions of a Fat Girl 163: Cerebral Affair

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September 16th, 2010

Speaking to Aunty Caroline took me back in time, to a time when our lives where uncomplicated…to a time when our family had still been one.

Caroline was my mother’s youngest sister, and, as luck would have it, the only one not struggling with her weight. While my mother, her other sisters, and even her brother, Chidera’s father, Uncle Osita, had all been battling with weight issues, Caroline was petite, svelte and very beautiful. Whilst the general opinion was that my mother had the prettiest face of all her sisters, Caroline being of perfect weight was soon regarded the most attractive.

Unlike her sisters, Caroline had been firmly steeped into life in the academia. Back then, she was just in her late 20s, but she had already started pursuing a post graduate degree. She had opted to go as far as the University of Ibadan because, according to her, she wanted a different outlook of life. Anytime she came to Enugu, in that yellow Volks Wagon of hers, I was always so in awe of her. With her big permed hair and large plastic earrings, not to mention her fashionable clothes, she was my definition of cool! Add to that the fact that she pretty much had the answer to every question, and it made her perfect in my eyes.

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It didn’t take long for her to connect with my father, on a cerebral level. My mother had never been one for academics and found talking politics a bore, and with my sisters and I too young for him to banter with, our father was always too happy anytime Caroline was around. Finally, there was someone to talk to about politics, the state of the economy and even world affairs. I remember we would all retire to bed, leaving dad and Caroline talking late into the night, their voices raised over their differing opinions about the Shagari Government or Ronald Reagan’s reelection. Her visits always made him come alive, and I knew he enjoyed their cerebral banter.

The first time I noticed anything was amiss was the year I turned 12. She had been visiting and, as usual, had gotten chatty with our father. Unlike in the past, when my mother would have been the first one to retire to bed, joking their banter was like a sleeping pill for her, that night, she had sat tight in the living room. From her constant yawning, it was clear she was fighting a losing battle with sleep, but she seemed determined not to leave them alone. As my sisters and I went to bed, I found it odd, but still hadn’t thought anything of it…until the next morning.

As I prepared for school, I heard muffled voices coming from the kitchen. Straining my ears, I overheard my mother sternly warning her sister to desist from the late night discussions with her husband. I also remember Caroline vehemently defending herself, swearing all their talks had always been innocent, and how she had nothing to worry about. Mom had brushed her excuses aside, and maintained her stance for her to keep a distance from our father. I had quickly retreated, not wanting them to catch me eavesdropping.

Alas, Caroline had apparently taken the warning as an affront. I got home from school to find my Aunty in the shortest mini skirt I had ever seen her wear, and her makeup bolder than her usually bold neon pink, red and blue hues. It was almost like she was trying to prove a point. And then to make matters worse, she told our father about the accusations mom had levelled against her.

Our father literally hit the roof, and the fight between he and our mother that night, had been epic! They were already going through a rough patch, so the incident proved particularly explosive. Caroline had left the house unceremoniously, and that had pretty much been the beginning of the end of our parents’ marriage.

Now, over 30 years later, I am preparing to see her for the first time since that day. Now that she and dad have fallen into each other’s arms, it makes me wonder if my mother hadn’t been paranoid after all. Perhaps she had seen through the pretext of those late night talks. Perhaps dad and Caroline had been having an affair then, just as mom suspected.

I really miss my sisters, because I don’t think I can do this on my own. I don’t trust myself seeing Caroline again. The end of my parents’ marriage was the beginning of the end of my mother’s life. I’m not sure I’m capable of forgiving Caroline for her role in my mother’s death…

 

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Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret
  91. Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to move on
  92. Confessions of a Fat Girl 92: Have some fruit!
  93. Confessions of a Fat Girl 93: Family Easter
  94. Confessions of a Fat Girl 94: Sister Reunion
  95. Confessions of a Fat Girl 95: Perfect Fit; Perfect Surprise
  96. Confessions of a Fat Girl 96: The Love Story
  97. Confessions of a Fat Girl 97: Caught in the middle
  98. Confessions of a Fat Girl 98: Kisses…and Blood
  99. Confessions of a Fat Girl 99: Past…or Present Tense
  100. Confessions of a Fat Girl 100: Jewel
  101. Confessions of a Fat Girl 101: “Ill find you…and I’ll kill you”
  102. Confessions of a Fat Girl 102: Homecoming
  103. Confessions of a Fat Girl 103: Fever Pitch
  104. Confessions of a Fat Girl 104: Whodunit?
  105. Confessions of a Fat Girl 105: The Hypocrite
  106. Confessions of a Fat Girl 106: Message from Mom
  107. Confessions of a Fat Girl 107: Accountability & Responsibility
  108. Confessions of a Fat Girl 108: It’s for the best
  109. Confessions of a Fat Girl 109: Port Harcourt
  110. Confessions of a Fat Girl 110: While you were away
  111. Confessions of a Fat Girl 111: Planning…and a little bit of Salmon
  112. Confessions of a Fat Girl 112: Putting yourself first
  113. Confessions of a Fat Girl 113: Fruit Crumble
  114. Confessions of a Fat Girl 114: Resting Heart Rate
  115. Confessions of a Fat Girl 115: Shishi, he no get
  116. Confessions of a Fat Girl 116: The truth hurts
  117. Confessions of a Fat Girl 117: Veggie Burger
  118. Confessions of a Fat Girl 118: Weight Watchers Porn
  119. Confessions of a Fat Girl 119: The Worst That Can Happen
  120. Confessions of a Fat Girl 120: Baby Dady
  121. Confessions of a Fat Girl 121: Not a Player
  122. Confessions of a Fat Girl 122: Fat versus Fit Brain
  123. Confessions of a Fat Girl 123: Aunty Caroline
  124. Confessions of a Fat Girl 124: Delete his number
  125. Confessions of a Fat Girl 125: Meal Planning
  126. Confessions of a Fat Girl 126: Food Shopping
  127. Confessions of a Fat Girl 127: The Baby Bump
  128. Confessions of a Fat Girl 128: Cavorting, Prevention & Spunk
  129. Confessions of a Fat Girl 129: The secret is out
  130. Confessions of a Fat Girl 130: Postpone the inevitable
  131. Confessions of a Fat Girl 131: Queen of Wishful Thinking
  132. Confessions of a Fat Girl 132: Fat Prison
  133. Confessions of a Fat Girl 133: Some time away
  134. Confessions of a Fat Girl 134: Taking life too seriously
  135. Confessions of a Fat Girl 135: Is this really me?
  136. Confessions of a Fat Girl 136: Soothing
  137. Confessions of a Fat Girl 137: Welcome to the real world
  138. Confessions of a Fat Girl 138: The Storm
  139. Confessions of a Fat Girl 139: Head up!
  140. Confessions of a Fat Girl 140: Half-Year Check
  141. Confessions of a Fat Girl 141: Leave him for his wife
  142. Confessions of a Fat Girl 142: The Plan
  143. Confessions of a Fat Girl 143: Leave of Absence
  144. Confessions of a Fat Girl 144: A Convenient Life
  145. Confessions of a Fat Girl 145: Sensible Snacking
  146. Confessions of a Fat Girl 146: Choices
  147. Confessions of a Fat Girl 147: Probing Questions
  148. Confessions of a Fat Girl 148: Travel Arrangements
  149. Confessions of a Fat Girl 149: The best feeling ever
  150. Confessions of a Fat Girl 150: Not happy
  151. Confessions of a Fat Girl 151: Still Married
  152. Confessions of a Fat Girl 152: Heartbreak
  153. Confessions of a Fat Girl 153: You complete me
  154. Confessions of a Fat Girl 154: Make it work
  155. Confessions of a Fat Girl 155: Love Weight
  156. Confessions of a Fat Girl 156: Pretty Girl
  157. Confessions of a Fat Girl 157: Juice Fast Prep
  158. Confessions of a Fat Girl 158: Better this way
  159. Confessions of a Fat Girl 159: Eat the doughnut
  160. Confessions of a Fat Girl 160: The Stroke
  161. Confessions of a Fat Girl 161: The Hardest Part
  162. Confessions of a Fat Girl 162: Blame Game

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3 COMMENTS

  1. Na wa oh! Still trying to catch up on your series Ihunna. Just coming up to the 50th post…..

    Would I go after or allow my dead sister’s husband chase me? I don’t know oh. I am tempted to ask what about Felicia but I guess the answer lies somewhere between post 50 & 160 so I’ll keep trudging on n not be a judgina…

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