Confessions of a Fat Girl 154: Make It Work

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September 1, 2010

Yesterday, the day after Chidera’s arrival, we all returned to Fair Lawn…well, all of us except Legachi. We figured we might as well give her the week to enjoy herself in New York. With Chidera around, watching the kids shouldn’t be too hard a task for us to manage. Legachi was mega excited to hear this, and Zara, the niece she only just met, has quickly taken her under her wing and has been giving her a treat around the town. We thought Dad would want to spend more time in New York, but he was eager to return back to Ogonna’s place…or as he called it, ‘sanity’!

Akwaugo and Chiemela had driven with us in a convoy back to New Jersey, and we had spent the day helping Chidera settle into her new apartment in the basement. With all the His and Hers stuff around the house (towels, bathrobes, house slippers, mugs), the place was a stark reminder that she wasn’t meant to be here alone. Ogonna had obviously not had enough time to clear the place of everything she had set for the couple. My sisters and I had looked at each other tentatively, not quite knowing whether we should remove them or simply pretend they weren’t there.

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Whether or not Chidera saw them, we don’t know, as she’d just glided into the apartment and made herself comfortable. Maybe it was seeing her kids, but she was in much better spirits than when she arrived yesterday. I could almost say she was glowing. I just pray that she stays this way and doesn’t slip into a depression when she’s alone.

Speaking of being alone.

Later that evening, after the kids, Chidera and our father had gone to bed, my sisters and I, as well as our partners, sat outside on the patio, enjoying the summer evening. With Akwaugo and Chiemela spending the night, we weren’t in any hurry to retire for the evening, and were enjoying a nice family evening when Ifeanyi suddenly spoke.

“I’m happy your sisters and their husbands are here, Ogonna, because I need to hear their opinion about this our issue!” he said, surprising the rest of us.

“Ifeanyi, there’s no need for this…” Ogonna protested.

“No, no. I think there is need. Because you are trying to make me out to be the bad guy!” Ifeanyi answered angrily.

“What’s going on?” JJ asked.

“Nwokem, please what do you think of this? When we married, our agreement was that Ogonna would be coming back to America every 6 weeks, to attend to her patients from the medical practice. Our agreement was that she would spend 10 days each time. But not only has she been here for the last 2 months, she is now asking if she can stay with Chidera for the remainder of her pregnancy, just because that one’s boyfriend refused to come!” Ifeanyi retorted.

Akwaugo and I exchanged a glance, before looking at our older sister, giving her a ‘you sef’ look. How on earth could she have asked to stay with Chidera till the end of the year?!

“I don’t know why you’re making this to be such a big deal! You are able to travel as often as you like, so we will surely see each other. Chidera will be here all by herself…” Ogonna protested.

“Forgive me for being brash, but how is that my concern?!” Ifeanyi snapped. “We are newly weds, Ogonna. Forget the fact that we are middle aged, that doesn’t change the fact that we have only been married a few months! I’m not prepared to have a long distance relationship with my wife. Not now…not ever! 10 days every 6 weeks was even me trying to be considerate.”

“He’s right, Ogo.” Chiemela said. “Your place is with your husband, not here playing nanny.”

“I can always check on Chidera on some weekends. In the meantime, we can get her a housekeeper or something. You don’t have to stay here, Ogo.” Akwaugo chipped in.

“I agree!” I quipped, and JJ nodded.

Ogonna sighed deeply, and Ifeanyi frowned.

“Or perhaps this thing is deeper than what we’re even saying. Is it that you don’t want to be with me? Are you already tired of our marriage?” he asked.

“Of course not!” Ogonna exclaimed, reaching for her husband. “How can you say that? If I had my way, I would be with you every breathing day of my life!” she hesitated briefly. “It’s just that I’m finding it hard settling in Nigeria. I thought it would be easier, but I’m really struggling. The market runs, the heat, the traffic…it’s so much harder than what I remember…”

“Ogo!” Ifeanyi said, holding his wife. “It’s only been a few months. All you need is a bit of time. I’ll help you in any way I can…because we just have to make it work. Yes, I might be able to travel, but my life is in Nigeria. My business is there, and I have to be there.”

I rubbed my sister’s knee in support, and Akwaugo gave her a hug from behind. Yes, it will be a hard journey for her to fully settle to life in Nigeria, but it’s something we all have to help her do…for the good of her marriage.

After Akwaugo and Chiemela left today, I was tempted to hop on Ogonna’s scale…to see how much damage my indiscriminate eating over the last week has caught. After my own heart-to-heart with my man when we went away, when he complained of my healthy meals, I have made a conscious effort to indulge in a more ‘relaxed; menu. Even things I know I shouldn’t be having, and which I would have been able to ignore on a good day, I find myself eating…just to make him happy. I can’t wait to get back to Nigeria, so I can recalibrate my life and get back on my weight loss wagon.

But weight loss or no, I did buy some clothes in a US size 10 (UK size 14), because come rain or shine, that will be my size before the end of the year. AMEN!!!

 

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Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret
  91. Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to move on
  92. Confessions of a Fat Girl 92: Have some fruit!
  93. Confessions of a Fat Girl 93: Family Easter
  94. Confessions of a Fat Girl 94: Sister Reunion
  95. Confessions of a Fat Girl 95: Perfect Fit; Perfect Surprise
  96. Confessions of a Fat Girl 96: The Love Story
  97. Confessions of a Fat Girl 97: Caught in the middle
  98. Confessions of a Fat Girl 98: Kisses…and Blood
  99. Confessions of a Fat Girl 99: Past…or Present Tense
  100. Confessions of a Fat Girl 100: Jewel
  101. Confessions of a Fat Girl 101: “Ill find you…and I’ll kill you”
  102. Confessions of a Fat Girl 102: Homecoming
  103. Confessions of a Fat Girl 103: Fever Pitch
  104. Confessions of a Fat Girl 104: Whodunit?
  105. Confessions of a Fat Girl 105: The Hypocrite
  106. Confessions of a Fat Girl 106: Message from Mom
  107. Confessions of a Fat Girl 107: Accountability & Responsibility
  108. Confessions of a Fat Girl 108: It’s for the best
  109. Confessions of a Fat Girl 109: Port Harcourt
  110. Confessions of a Fat Girl 110: While you were away
  111. Confessions of a Fat Girl 111: Planning…and a little bit of Salmon
  112. Confessions of a Fat Girl 112: Putting yourself first
  113. Confessions of a Fat Girl 113: Fruit Crumble
  114. Confessions of a Fat Girl 114: Resting Heart Rate
  115. Confessions of a Fat Girl 115: Shishi, he no get
  116. Confessions of a Fat Girl 116: The truth hurts
  117. Confessions of a Fat Girl 117: Veggie Burger
  118. Confessions of a Fat Girl 118: Weight Watchers Porn
  119. Confessions of a Fat Girl 119: The Worst That Can Happen
  120. Confessions of a Fat Girl 120: Baby Dady
  121. Confessions of a Fat Girl 121: Not a Player
  122. Confessions of a Fat Girl 122: Fat versus Fit Brain
  123. Confessions of a Fat Girl 123: Aunty Caroline
  124. Confessions of a Fat Girl 124: Delete his number
  125. Confessions of a Fat Girl 125: Meal Planning
  126. Confessions of a Fat Girl 126: Food Shopping
  127. Confessions of a Fat Girl 127: The Baby Bump
  128. Confessions of a Fat Girl 128: Cavorting, Prevention & Spunk
  129. Confessions of a Fat Girl 129: The secret is out
  130. Confessions of a Fat Girl 130: Postpone the inevitable
  131. Confessions of a Fat Girl 131: Queen of Wishful Thinking
  132. Confessions of a Fat Girl 132: Fat Prison
  133. Confessions of a Fat Girl 133: Some time away
  134. Confessions of a Fat Girl 134: Taking life too seriously
  135. Confessions of a Fat Girl 135: Is this really me?
  136. Confessions of a Fat Girl 136: Soothing
  137. Confessions of a Fat Girl 137: Welcome to the real world
  138. Confessions of a Fat Girl 138: The Storm
  139. Confessions of a Fat Girl 139: Head up!
  140. Confessions of a Fat Girl 140: Half-Year Check
  141. Confessions of a Fat Girl 141: Leave him for his wife
  142. Confessions of a Fat Girl 142: The Plan
  143. Confessions of a Fat Girl 143: Leave of Absence
  144. Confessions of a Fat Girl 144: A Convenient Life
  145. Confessions of a Fat Girl 145: Sensible Snacking
  146. Confessions of a Fat Girl 146: Choices
  147. Confessions of a Fat Girl 147: Probing Questions
  148. Confessions of a Fat Girl 148: Travel Arrangements
  149. Confessions of a Fat Girl 149: The best feeling ever
  150. Confessions of a Fat Girl 150: Not happy
  151. Confessions of a Fat Girl 151: Still Married
  152. Confessions of a Fat Girl 152: Heartbreak
  153. Confessions of a Fat Girl 153: You complete me

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3 COMMENTS

  1. Ogonna u self! Please Don’t go playing supportive sister to Chidera n lose ur husband in d process oh! Naija babes r not smiling! D will just snatch him one time in d name of helping him heal!

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