Confessions of a Fat Girl 147: Probing Questions

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August 8th, 2010

You see the thing about being a Daddy’s girl? You never stop. Even when we were estranged for many years, I don’t think I ever stopped being one, which is probably why we were able to reconcile so easily and completely.

Upon all my boning and malice keeping, when I heard my father’s voice ring through my compound, I dashed outside to hug in.

“Oh, I thought you were not speaking with me!” he had said, his voice a cross between joking and being hurt. “You couldn’t even come with your husband to pick me from the airport!”

I knew that wasn’t the time to remind him of the reason I’d been mad in the first place, so I’d just smiled and hugged him. I couldn’t help but notice how much better he looked. He had regained the weight he’d lost when he lost his wife, and he even looked about 5 to 10 years longer. His girlfriend was definitely doing wonders.

Speaking of his girlfriend, I peered into the car, to make sure there were no surprises and he hadn’t snuck her along for the trip.

“I almost brought her, you know!” Dad had laughed, reading my mind. “But she refused. I think she’s afraid of you!”

Still laughing, he’d followed JJ into the house, with the driver carrying in his luggage. I had to restrain from hissing, so cheesed off was I by the amount of fun he was having at my expense.

Walking into the house, he was greeted by his excited grandchildren and, of course, his own spawn, Legachi and Marizu.

“Hian! How many weeks in Lagos and you have already put on so much weight!” he remarked at Legachi, who truly had put on weight. I was actually noticing this for the first time, and I actually felt sad. There I was, the Class Captain of Fitfam, and my sister was on her own slippery slope to the same place I had escaped from. I made a mental note, then and there, to make sure she lost the weight.

“Ah, Daddy! Nno!” Chidera chimed, as she joined us in the kitchen.

Daddy had looked at her, and his face had reflected his shock over the bump she was sporting. I almost clasped my hand on my head as it dawned on me that he was in the dark about everything.

“Chidera! How are you? Wow, I see you and your husband have reconciled! I’m very happy about that. When I heard about your separation, I wasn’t happy at all! Thank God everything has worked out!”

Chidera and I exchanged an uncomfortable glance, and she had smiled stiffly. Without even saying any words, we knew it was best to keep him in his blissful ignorance.

“Are you and the kids visiting, or are you leaving today?” Daddy had continued. From his tone, I knew he suspected something was amiss.

“No, Grandpa. They live here now!” my older son had answered, and I almost felt like smacking his mouth.

“Is that so? And where is your Daddy?” my father had asked, a knowing look crossing his face.

old_man__s_face_by_sirgalaz

“My daddy is in London!” Chidera’s own son answered. What was it with this amebo kids sef?!

When the kids had left the kitchen, Daddy had stared hard at Chidera. “So…I was wrong then. You are still separated from your husband.”

We both responded with silence, neither of us knowing what to say. Considering the kind of hell Chidera’s siblings had raised when they found out about her pregnancy, neither of us wanted a repeat performance.

“Is that pregnancy a leftover from the marriage, or has another man been warming your bed?” Daddy asked, still probing.

By this time, I’d had enough.

“Ehn ehn, it’s enough Daddy! It’s enough! Just leave Chidera be, biko! Nobody is asking you about the woman warming your own bed!”

“Ihunna!” came my husband’s voice, who had come into the kitchen without my knowledge.

“Daddy, please…we are sorry! She didn’t mean it!” Chidera, almost dropping to her knees, but for my father who had held her up.

“Her mouth is as sharp as her mother’s, so I’m neither surprised nor offended.” Daddy had assured Chidera and JJ, before turning to me. “You can run your mouth all you like, but the sooner you accept that Caroline will soon be a permanent part of my life, the better for you!”

As he and Chidera left the room, JJ glared at me.

“Okay, this nonsense has gone on for far too long. I’m not going to stand by and watch you act like a child! God knows we have more than enough of them in the house already. You are going to apologize to your father, TONIGHT, and you are going to be on your best behavior for the entire time he’s here!”

As he stormed off, even I knew I had crossed the line. It took a lot to get my JJ mad, and somehow, I had managed to do just that.

I guess it’s my cue to tow everyone’s line and accept that my estranged aunt will soon be my stepmother. Because it seems I’m the only one drinking this Panadol!

 

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Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret
  91. Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to move on
  92. Confessions of a Fat Girl 92: Have some fruit!
  93. Confessions of a Fat Girl 93: Family Easter
  94. Confessions of a Fat Girl 94: Sister Reunion
  95. Confessions of a Fat Girl 95: Perfect Fit; Perfect Surprise
  96. Confessions of a Fat Girl 96: The Love Story
  97. Confessions of a Fat Girl 97: Caught in the middle
  98. Confessions of a Fat Girl 98: Kisses…and Blood
  99. Confessions of a Fat Girl 99: Past…or Present Tense
  100. Confessions of a Fat Girl 100: Jewel
  101. Confessions of a Fat Girl 101: “Ill find you…and I’ll kill you”
  102. Confessions of a Fat Girl 102: Homecoming
  103. Confessions of a Fat Girl 103: Fever Pitch
  104. Confessions of a Fat Girl 104: Whodunit?
  105. Confessions of a Fat Girl 105: The Hypocrite
  106. Confessions of a Fat Girl 106: Message from Mom
  107. Confessions of a Fat Girl 107: Accountability & Responsibility
  108. Confessions of a Fat Girl 108: It’s for the best
  109. Confessions of a Fat Girl 109: Port Harcourt
  110. Confessions of a Fat Girl 110: While you were away
  111. Confessions of a Fat Girl 111: Planning…and a little bit of Salmon
  112. Confessions of a Fat Girl 112: Putting yourself first
  113. Confessions of a Fat Girl 113: Fruit Crumble
  114. Confessions of a Fat Girl 114: Resting Heart Rate
  115. Confessions of a Fat Girl 115: Shishi, he no get
  116. Confessions of a Fat Girl 116: The truth hurts
  117. Confessions of a Fat Girl 117: Veggie Burger
  118. Confessions of a Fat Girl 118: Weight Watchers Porn
  119. Confessions of a Fat Girl 119: The Worst That Can Happen
  120. Confessions of a Fat Girl 120: Baby Dady
  121. Confessions of a Fat Girl 121: Not a Player
  122. Confessions of a Fat Girl 122: Fat versus Fit Brain
  123. Confessions of a Fat Girl 123: Aunty Caroline
  124. Confessions of a Fat Girl 124: Delete his number
  125. Confessions of a Fat Girl 125: Meal Planning
  126. Confessions of a Fat Girl 126: Food Shopping
  127. Confessions of a Fat Girl 127: The Baby Bump
  128. Confessions of a Fat Girl 128: Cavorting, Prevention & Spunk
  129. Confessions of a Fat Girl 129: The secret is out
  130. Confessions of a Fat Girl 130: Postpone the inevitable
  131. Confessions of a Fat Girl 131: Queen of Wishful Thinking
  132. Confessions of a Fat Girl 132: Fat Prison
  133. Confessions of a Fat Girl 133: Some time away
  134. Confessions of a Fat Girl 134: Taking life too seriously
  135. Confessions of a Fat Girl 135: Is this really me?
  136. Confessions of a Fat Girl 136: Soothing
  137. Confessions of a Fat Girl 137: Welcome to the real world
  138. Confessions of a Fat Girl 138: The Storm
  139. Confessions of a Fat Girl 139: Head up!
  140. Confessions of a Fat Girl 140: Half-Year Check
  141. Confessions of a Fat Girl 141: Leave him for his wife
  142. Confessions of a Fat Girl 142: The Plan
  143. Confessions of a Fat Girl 143: Leave of Absence
  144. Confessions of a Fat Girl 144: A Convenient Life
  145. Confessions of a Fat Girl 145: Sensible Snacking
  146. Confessions of a Fat Girl 146: Choices

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