Confessions of a Fat Girl 146: Choices

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August 7th, 2010

Chidera got home early from work last night, and for the first time in a long while, we sat down and talked…I mean, really talked!

Thankfully, things seem to have settled at work. Maybe it’s because of Okei’s resignation or the fact that her former boss waded in, but the gossip and tension seem to have eased up. As for what Okei’s plans are, now that he has quit his job, she told me that even though he has an offer from another bank, he is thinking of applying for a postgraduate program in America, so he can be there with her the whole time.

Hmmm! That’s a dimension I didn’t see coming.

“So, you definitely want to be with him? This one is not management?” I asked, not quite convinced.

She’d smiled dreamily. “More than anything. He makes me happy. He loves me in a way Somto never was able to, not even having been married for so long!”

I smiled, but I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. My guilt over what we’re doing to Okei’s wife seems to weigh heavier and heavier as the days go by. If only there could be a resolution that would make everyone happy!

We’d then talked about the kids, and I was glad she was on the same page with me about leaving them here with me. There’s no point de-stabilising them, especially as they have settled into their new schools. And considering how long Chidera is away from home, I have pretty much been the one raising them anyway…even though I didn’t dare mention this fact to her.

I also don’t want them caught up in their mother’s situation with Okei. Let them figure things out for themselves, without having to contend with 3 young kids. It will be hard enough having to battle with a newborn baby. I wonder if Chidera has started schooling Okei for what’s in store for him! I remember clearly how confused and rattled JJ was when our first son was born, and I doubt Somto was any different. New fathers are often taken by surprise with the whole baby stress, so Okei might not know what he is signing up for.

When I asked if she will be resigning her job upon her return, Chidera had looked at me like I was crazy.

“For what na?!” she’d exclaimed, laughing. “Apart from the fact that Maxwell will kill me, babe I’ve worked too hard to run away when I’m about to start enjoying the fruits of my labour!”

“Even after all the gossip…”

“Even after all of it!” she had answered, still laughing.

“Even if you and Okei are still a couple?”

She was quiet, and I realised she still hadn’t thought that far. I felt like shaking my cousin, so that she and Okei are finally able to make long term plans, and not all these short, haphazard plans they seem to be focusing on. They almost seem to be forgetting that life will continue after this child is born. Even if he drops everything and runs with her to America, even if they are able to adjust to life as parents of a newborn, what happens next? They still have to return home to face the music.

cuddling_couple_by_shelby1211-d5zt19c

Anyways, baby steps first. Let’s just get her out of here, to a more conducive place where she can have this baby in peace!

Anyways, we are almost all packed up and ready for our trip on Thursday, so I spent the day cooking in preparation for my father’s arrival tomorrow. I guess I’m more stubborn than I am, as I have still not spoken with him. It’s JJ and Legachi that have been discussing his travel arrangements. Apparently his visa interview is on Monday morning. I hope one of them is ready to drive him for it, as I sure as heck won’t!

As I muled over what to cook tomorrow, and if my father would mind egos soup cooked with very little palm oil, I couldn’t help but marvel over how far I have come! How I now weigh all my food choices before making them.

For the longest time, fat held me back from living my healthiest and happiest life, and I guess I got tired of it. I hated feeling tired and weighed down all the time. Even now, I hate that I spent so much time in a food coma. I hate that I misspent so many years hiding from my feelings, being afraid, years during which snacking on sweets and treats was more important than living up to my potential.

But those days are over. As much as I still love and enjoy food, I don’t live to eat anymore. Food is not more important than my health. That box of cookies isn’t worth the sugar fog, depression and weight gain that comes with it. I’m enjoying thinking of new ways to fuel my body with the best quality, most nutritious and delicious food I can find and prepare. My body thanks me for it with every step I take, with every bit of weight I lift, with every shift I work.

So I guess that means my father is going to have to make do with a healthy version of his favourite soup. But he need not worry. My family, JJ especially, can attest to the fact that I still make a mean pot of soup, even if it is healthier than the more conventional version.

I just hope the old man doesn’t drive me i-n-s-a-n-e while he’s here!!!

 

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Photo Credits

  1. http://pre10.deviantart.net

 

Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret
  91. Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to move on
  92. Confessions of a Fat Girl 92: Have some fruit!
  93. Confessions of a Fat Girl 93: Family Easter
  94. Confessions of a Fat Girl 94: Sister Reunion
  95. Confessions of a Fat Girl 95: Perfect Fit; Perfect Surprise
  96. Confessions of a Fat Girl 96: The Love Story
  97. Confessions of a Fat Girl 97: Caught in the middle
  98. Confessions of a Fat Girl 98: Kisses…and Blood
  99. Confessions of a Fat Girl 99: Past…or Present Tense
  100. Confessions of a Fat Girl 100: Jewel
  101. Confessions of a Fat Girl 101: “Ill find you…and I’ll kill you”
  102. Confessions of a Fat Girl 102: Homecoming
  103. Confessions of a Fat Girl 103: Fever Pitch
  104. Confessions of a Fat Girl 104: Whodunit?
  105. Confessions of a Fat Girl 105: The Hypocrite
  106. Confessions of a Fat Girl 106: Message from Mom
  107. Confessions of a Fat Girl 107: Accountability & Responsibility
  108. Confessions of a Fat Girl 108: It’s for the best
  109. Confessions of a Fat Girl 109: Port Harcourt
  110. Confessions of a Fat Girl 110: While you were away
  111. Confessions of a Fat Girl 111: Planning…and a little bit of Salmon
  112. Confessions of a Fat Girl 112: Putting yourself first
  113. Confessions of a Fat Girl 113: Fruit Crumble
  114. Confessions of a Fat Girl 114: Resting Heart Rate
  115. Confessions of a Fat Girl 115: Shishi, he no get
  116. Confessions of a Fat Girl 116: The truth hurts
  117. Confessions of a Fat Girl 117: Veggie Burger
  118. Confessions of a Fat Girl 118: Weight Watchers Porn
  119. Confessions of a Fat Girl 119: The Worst That Can Happen
  120. Confessions of a Fat Girl 120: Baby Dady
  121. Confessions of a Fat Girl 121: Not a Player
  122. Confessions of a Fat Girl 122: Fat versus Fit Brain
  123. Confessions of a Fat Girl 123: Aunty Caroline
  124. Confessions of a Fat Girl 124: Delete his number
  125. Confessions of a Fat Girl 125: Meal Planning
  126. Confessions of a Fat Girl 126: Food Shopping
  127. Confessions of a Fat Girl 127: The Baby Bump
  128. Confessions of a Fat Girl 128: Cavorting, Prevention & Spunk
  129. Confessions of a Fat Girl 129: The secret is out
  130. Confessions of a Fat Girl 130: Postpone the inevitable
  131. Confessions of a Fat Girl 131: Queen of Wishful Thinking
  132. Confessions of a Fat Girl 132: Fat Prison
  133. Confessions of a Fat Girl 133: Some time away
  134. Confessions of a Fat Girl 134: Taking life too seriously
  135. Confessions of a Fat Girl 135: Is this really me?
  136. Confessions of a Fat Girl 136: Soothing
  137. Confessions of a Fat Girl 137: Welcome to the real world
  138. Confessions of a Fat Girl 138: The Storm
  139. Confessions of a Fat Girl 139: Head up!
  140. Confessions of a Fat Girl 140: Half-Year Check
  141. Confessions of a Fat Girl 141: Leave him for his wife
  142. Confessions of a Fat Girl 142: The Plan
  143. Confessions of a Fat Girl 143: Leave of Absence
  144. Confessions of a Fat Girl 144: A Convenient Life
  145. Confessions of a Fat Girl 145: Sensible Snacking

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