Confessions of a Fat Girl 142: The Plan

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August 2nd, 2010

I was angry and irritated last night. This wasn’t the time for Chidera to lock herself up in her room. This was the time to strategise about next steps. We were no longer wondering and guessing what Okei’s wife’s next step would be. We knew where the storm was headed, and it was making its way to her MD’s ears. But rather than put our heads together, my dear cousin had locked herself up in her room.

Frustrated, I had called my sisters instead. Luckily, Ogonna was with Akwaugo, and I’d told them everything that was going on. They both agreed that things had reached something of a crescendo, and it wasn’t the time to just fold our arms and wait for the wave. When I told them I thought Chidera should beat Okei’s wife to it, and go to talk to her MD first, my sisters shut it down.

“And tell him what, Ihunna? There is nothing she can say that can change the fact that she’s gotten herself involved with a junior colleague.” Akwaugo retorted. “It doesn’t matter if she’s one of their star staff, or that she has brought in billions to the bank, company policy is company policy!”

In the end, we agreed it was time for Chidera to start working towards a plan B; taking a leave of absence from work until the storm blew over. Ogonna has decided to stay on in the States for the rest of the summer, so that she can be here when the kids and I get there, and if Chidera decides on that option, it’s also there for her.

Waking up this morning, stepping on my scale was the last thing on my mind. With the kids already on holiday, I left the house as early as 6am, to run around the estate. Pounding the concrete, I was able to let go of my anger and tension with each stride. Even though I promised myself I won’t get too wrapped up in my dear cousin’s Telenovela of a life, I just can’t help it. I have never been so deep in the eye of the storm before, and it has given me a new perspective on this whole other-woman business.

If anyone had told me this story as recently as a few months ago, I would have had plenty of choice words for the harlot of a woman who would dare get pregnant for a married man, almost 10 years her junior. I would have been quick to condemn such a woman, and would have happily spat at her if I’d passed her on the street.

But alas, that woman is one of the women I love the most in this world.

Today, I am looking at it from the viewpoint of a woman left devastated after the abrupt end of her marriage, a woman who found consolation in the arms of a good looking, younger man…a man who just happened to be married. I don’t think my cousin set out to end a marriage. I’m sure that was the last thing on her mind. I saw firsthand the heartache and pain she went through. I saw it firsthand. Even though I might not agree with her choices, I can understand what led her to them.

It was just a series of unfortunate events. And now, here we are. Living with the outcome of those events.

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Getting home, she had already left for work and I found my anger giving way to pity…and even a bit of admiration. I couldn’t imagine the kind of bravery that she would have to have to go to work everyday, not knowing who was thinking or saying what, and waiting for when judgement day would come. To be honest, I don’t think I would have had the courage to do that. In her shoes, if I hadn’t already resigned by now, I would be calling in sick almost on a daily basis. But here my cousin is, taking on the world every single day.

That said, I knew there was something I had to do. This was not about staying on my lane. By coming to my home with her aunt yesterday, Okei’s wife had entered my lane, and it was now left to me secure it. And so I picked up my phone and dialled his number, grateful for Ogonna’s foresight in getting his number in the first place.

“I’m glad you called. I actually wanted to call you, but wasn’t quite sure how receptive you’d be.” Okei had said.

“Okei, what exactly is your plan?” I said, suddenly short of all the words I had rehearsed.

“I’m going to be with Chidera. That’s my plan.” he had answered, almost defiantly.

“You only got married barely how many months ago!” I couldn’t help but exclaim.

“If I’d known Chidera would be available, there wouldn’t have been a wedding! I’ve been in love with her since the first day I set eyes on her when I joined the bank. But I didn’t think I ever stood a chance, only because she was married. I never considered our age difference a factor. Now that I finally have her…that she is actually carrying my baby, there’s nothing in this world that can make me let go!” Okei had responded.

Even though I’d been hearing the ‘I love her’, ‘I love her’ line for ages, today, for the very first time, I heard him…and I understood him. He had married second best, only to find that his original choice was within reach after all.

“Your wife is looking for a way to make a formal complaint to the bank.” was all I could manage to say in response.

“On what grounds? I don’t work there anymore.” he’d answered, to my surprise.

I sat up. “You don’t?”

“I handed in my notice this morning. If I’m no longer a staff of the bank, there’s nothing they can use against Chidera. They can not penalise her just for being pregnant, as that would be a violation of her basic human rights.” he had answered, self-confidently. “Do you now believe me when I say I have a plan for us?”

For the first time since all this started, I felt the weight of the wahala begin to lift. If he was standing next to him, I would have given him a crushing hug. I obviously had underestimated this young man.

Maybe things are going to be okay after all!

 

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Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret
  91. Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to move on
  92. Confessions of a Fat Girl 92: Have some fruit!
  93. Confessions of a Fat Girl 93: Family Easter
  94. Confessions of a Fat Girl 94: Sister Reunion
  95. Confessions of a Fat Girl 95: Perfect Fit; Perfect Surprise
  96. Confessions of a Fat Girl 96: The Love Story
  97. Confessions of a Fat Girl 97: Caught in the middle
  98. Confessions of a Fat Girl 98: Kisses…and Blood
  99. Confessions of a Fat Girl 99: Past…or Present Tense
  100. Confessions of a Fat Girl 100: Jewel
  101. Confessions of a Fat Girl 101: “Ill find you…and I’ll kill you”
  102. Confessions of a Fat Girl 102: Homecoming
  103. Confessions of a Fat Girl 103: Fever Pitch
  104. Confessions of a Fat Girl 104: Whodunit?
  105. Confessions of a Fat Girl 105: The Hypocrite
  106. Confessions of a Fat Girl 106: Message from Mom
  107. Confessions of a Fat Girl 107: Accountability & Responsibility
  108. Confessions of a Fat Girl 108: It’s for the best
  109. Confessions of a Fat Girl 109: Port Harcourt
  110. Confessions of a Fat Girl 110: While you were away
  111. Confessions of a Fat Girl 111: Planning…and a little bit of Salmon
  112. Confessions of a Fat Girl 112: Putting yourself first
  113. Confessions of a Fat Girl 113: Fruit Crumble
  114. Confessions of a Fat Girl 114: Resting Heart Rate
  115. Confessions of a Fat Girl 115: Shishi, he no get
  116. Confessions of a Fat Girl 116: The truth hurts
  117. Confessions of a Fat Girl 117: Veggie Burger
  118. Confessions of a Fat Girl 118: Weight Watchers Porn
  119. Confessions of a Fat Girl 119: The Worst That Can Happen
  120. Confessions of a Fat Girl 120: Baby Dady
  121. Confessions of a Fat Girl 121: Not a Player
  122. Confessions of a Fat Girl 122: Fat versus Fit Brain
  123. Confessions of a Fat Girl 123: Aunty Caroline
  124. Confessions of a Fat Girl 124: Delete his number
  125. Confessions of a Fat Girl 125: Meal Planning
  126. Confessions of a Fat Girl 126: Food Shopping
  127. Confessions of a Fat Girl 127: The Baby Bump
  128. Confessions of a Fat Girl 128: Cavorting, Prevention & Spunk
  129. Confessions of a Fat Girl 129: The secret is out
  130. Confessions of a Fat Girl 130: Postpone the inevitable
  131. Confessions of a Fat Girl 131: Queen of Wishful Thinking
  132. Confessions of a Fat Girl 132: Fat Prison
  133. Confessions of a Fat Girl 133: Some time away
  134. Confessions of a Fat Girl 134: Taking life too seriously
  135. Confessions of a Fat Girl 135: Is this really me?
  136. Confessions of a Fat Girl 136: Soothing
  137. Confessions of a Fat Girl 137: Welcome to the real world
  138. Confessions of a Fat Girl 138: The Storm
  139. Confessions of a Fat Girl 139: Head up!
  140. Confessions of a Fat Girl 140: Half-Year Check
  141. Confessions of a Fat Girl 141: Leave him for his wife

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