Confessions of a Fat Girl 134: Taking Life Too Seriously

6
1013

June 21st, 2010

Hmmm, was I complaining about having a crowded house? Mehn forget that tin oh! Having Legachi around proved heavenly this weekend. She was a total God-send! On Saturday morning, it was the smell of pancakes that woke me up from bed. As I walked to the kitchen, I savoured the heavenly aroma and dreaded telling my younger sister that I wouldn’t be able to indulge in her treat.

“Sis, you know I got you! I didn’t use flour, it’s all banana!” Legachi had declared, happily.

Say what?! These wonderful looking pancakes were actually healthy?! Ah, she won my heart on the spot. Add that to the fact that even the kids loved the pancakes, add that to the fact that she accompanied my Nanny to the market and saved me thousands of naira thanks to her one-in-town haggling, add that to the fact that she kept the kids occupied all weekend, giving me enough time to rest. Ah, the babe won my heart oh!

So happy was I that I didn’t quite notice how late Chidera got back home on Sunday night. Well, I lie. I did. I was peeping through the window when Okei dropped her off at about 10pm. From how long they lingered in the car, my gut told me I wouldn’t like whatever news my cousin returned with. Again, my heart went out to his wife and I winced, thinking how she was probably also peeping through her own window, waiting for her husband to return home.

I didn’t bother going to ask her for any update. I decided to just let her be…at least for that night.

This morning, I woke up early so I could say my prayers, after which I hopped on the scale, after not having done so in over 2 weeks.

87.3kg. I can’t complain. Yes, I’ve only lost 0.8kg…but I ain’t complaining. It could have been worse.

I managed to drag myself to the gym, and paid the price for missing quite a few days. My muscles seemed to have stiffened a bit, and my beast of a trainer didn’t even want to hear ‘sorry’. Sometimes, I think that man is just a sadist.

Getting home, instead of sorting out inventory requests for my shop as I had planned, I spent the whole morning and early afternoon gisting with Legachi. Marizu had gone to work with JJ, so it was us girls home alone. Mehn, the gisting blood definitely runs in the family, as that babe can g-i-s-t! From Ifeanyi to Ogonna to Chiemela and, of course, our father’s new babe, Caro, we dissected everyone and everything from start to finish.

When I asked why she is so indifferent about another woman warming our father’s bed so soon after her own mother’s death, she gave me an answer far wiser than her years belied.

“Sis, of course I don’t like it, but it’s better than having him sit at home, moping! I would rather have him alive, even if it means him chasing after everything in skirt!”

Now that, I couldn’t argue with.

But as far as our gist went, when she tried to ask about Chidera’s baby daddy, I shut it down on the spot.

“Legachi, that information is above your pay grade! Oya, time for us to go for the school run!” I had quipped, quickly changing the topic. Who am to gist about something even I am still struggling to wrap my head around?!

She had gotten the hint, and we had kept off Chidera’s topic…for the time being.

That evening, way earlier than her normal closing time, Chidera had sauntered into the house, all smiley and happy.

“Na wa oh. Work must have been very sweet today!” I remarked, not even attempting to mask the sarcasm in my voice. There she was, bubbly and all smiles, while I was there killing myself on top her matter.

“Work was fine. Life is fine. Everything is just fine!” she exclaimed happily.

free-women-clipart-free-clipart-images-graphics-animated-gifs-Pa4YQe-clipart

Pulling her away from everyone’s ear shot, I had to confront her about the weekend. “You got home very late last night. What’s the deal, Chichi? What’s going on?”

“Ihunna!!! You take life too seriously! Haba! Live a little. I’m only pregnant, not on death row!” and with that, she had giggled and walked upstairs.

Looking at her walk away, I was mad as hell. You know what?! I think she is right! I think I should just relax like everyone else, and pretend not to hear the rumble in the jungle! Why am I the only one that can see the storm approaching?! Does she think she can carry on with a junior colleague, a married one for that matter, without any repercursions? Does she think Okei’s wife is just going to fold her arms and watch their affair, like Super Story?

As for my father’s case, do my sisters really think he’s not going to go ahead and marry this so-called aunty of ours? Do they think our relatives won’t kick against such a ludicrous idea?!

Well, na all of dem sabi! Me too, I know how to throw caution to the wind and enjoy my life. I kuku have two businesses to run!

Nonsense!

 

Untitled

 

Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret
  91. Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to move on
  92. Confessions of a Fat Girl 92: Have some fruit!
  93. Confessions of a Fat Girl 93: Family Easter
  94. Confessions of a Fat Girl 94: Sister Reunion
  95. Confessions of a Fat Girl 95: Perfect Fit; Perfect Surprise
  96. Confessions of a Fat Girl 96: The Love Story
  97. Confessions of a Fat Girl 97: Caught in the middle
  98. Confessions of a Fat Girl 98: Kisses…and Blood
  99. Confessions of a Fat Girl 99: Past…or Present Tense
  100. Confessions of a Fat Girl 100: Jewel
  101. Confessions of a Fat Girl 101: “Ill find you…and I’ll kill you”
  102. Confessions of a Fat Girl 102: Homecoming
  103. Confessions of a Fat Girl 103: Fever Pitch
  104. Confessions of a Fat Girl 104: Whodunit?
  105. Confessions of a Fat Girl 105: The Hypocrite
  106. Confessions of a Fat Girl 106: Message from Mom
  107. Confessions of a Fat Girl 107: Accountability & Responsibility
  108. Confessions of a Fat Girl 108: It’s for the best
  109. Confessions of a Fat Girl 109: Port Harcourt
  110. Confessions of a Fat Girl 110: While you were away
  111. Confessions of a Fat Girl 111: Planning…and a little bit of Salmon
  112. Confessions of a Fat Girl 112: Putting yourself first
  113. Confessions of a Fat Girl 113: Fruit Crumble
  114. Confessions of a Fat Girl 114: Resting Heart Rate
  115. Confessions of a Fat Girl 115: Shishi, he no get
  116. Confessions of a Fat Girl 116: The truth hurts
  117. Confessions of a Fat Girl 117: Veggie Burger
  118. Confessions of a Fat Girl 118: Weight Watchers Porn
  119. Confessions of a Fat Girl 119: The Worst That Can Happen
  120. Confessions of a Fat Girl 120: Baby Dady
  121. Confessions of a Fat Girl 121: Not a Player
  122. Confessions of a Fat Girl 122: Fat versus Fit Brain
  123. Confessions of a Fat Girl 123: Aunty Caroline
  124. Confessions of a Fat Girl 124: Delete his number
  125. Confessions of a Fat Girl 125: Meal Planning
  126. Confessions of a Fat Girl 126: Food Shopping
  127. Confessions of a Fat Girl 127: The Baby Bump
  128. Confessions of a Fat Girl 128: Cavorting, Prevention & Spunk
  129. Confessions of a Fat Girl 129: The secret is out
  130. Confessions of a Fat Girl 130: Postpone the inevitable
  131. Confessions of a Fat Girl 131: Queen of Wishful Thinking
  132. Confessions of a Fat Girl 132: Fat Prison
  133. Confessions of a Fat girl 133: Some time away

1+

6 COMMENTS

  1. Real calm before d storm. Somehow I keep on praying she takes Ogonna’s advice n asks for early leave but u never mentioned that to her did u?

    Sigh…

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here