Confessions of a Fat Girl 124: Delete His Number!

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June 2nd, 2010

“Oh, really?” came Akwaugo’s disinterested response.

“What do you mean by ‘oh, really’??!!!” I exclaimed, very exasperated at this point.

“Ihunna, so Daddy has hooked up with Aunty Caroline, big deal! Aren’t you even happy it’s someone we know, and not some other random woman?”

“It’s like you and Ogonna have developed amnesia or selective memory! This is Aunty Caroline we are talking about! The same one who almost wrecked…”

“Oh my goodness! Don’t tell me you’re still hung up over something that happened in the 70s!!!”

“It wasn’t the 70s, it was 1981!!!!” I yelled.

“Same difference, Ihunna! In case you’ve forgotten, this marriage you are talking about ended years ago…and he even had time to marry another woman. Remember Legachi and Marizu? Your HALF siblings? Remember them?!”

“I don’t appreciate your sarcasm, Akwaugo! Obviously, I’m the only one who still remembers what a snake this woman is!” I muttered, gravely disappointed by my sister’s reaction, especially when I thought I had an ally in her.

“Babe, that one is even the least of my issues. I have more serious things to worry about.” Akwaugo said, with a deep sigh.

“What’s going on?”

“I’ve been back in New York for almost a month now. Chiemela met the kids the weekend after I got back, and everything went great…I told you now.”

“Oooookay. Why is that a bad thing?” I asked, clearly confused.

“Can you believe that he hasn’t even said anything about marriage yet? I thought he was going to propose as soon as we were back here, but no oh! He just gets more and more comfortable everyday, with this our boyfriend/girlfriend status!”

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I couldn’t help but laugh. “Why are you in such a hurry? You guys have only been dating a few months!”

“Please don’t go there! Don’t even go there! Why didn’t you say the same thing to Ogonna and Ifeanyi who got engaged in a matter of weeks!!!”

“So because theirs was a quick engagement, you think the same should apply for you?”

“There is no logical reason for us to be waiting! We are both over 40, are we expected to be dating until I hit 50?! Doesn’t he want me to be able to give him kids?! If he knew he wasn’t serious, why did his parents come for introduction when we were in Enugu?!”

“Heiiiii, Akwaugo!!! Which introduction? So a harmless lunch has now become introduction?!!” I laughed.

“They came for iku aka, and you know it!” Akwaugo fumed.

“My dear sister, here is my advice to you. Instead of killing yourself and waiting for an engagement, why don’t you enjoy your relationship. This is the first time you and Chiemela are able to date without having to hide from anyone. I suggest you enjoy it, instead of moaning, lamenting and pulling your face…because I know you’re definitely pulling your face!”

“I knew you wouldn’t be of much help, I wonder why I even told you sef!” she muttered. “Meanwhile, how far with Chidera? Has her stomach started showing?”

“Bye, Akwaugo!”

“When the shame starts, you people shouldn’t call me oh! You both know how Lagos people talk…especially Somto’s sisters! They will finish her with their gist. I won’t be surprised if I even hear the gist here.”

I knew she had a point, but I was determined we would cross that bridge only when we got there. But I couldn’t help myself from asking my sister one last question.

“We ran into Chidera’s baby daddy the other day. He was with his wife, but he seemed really interested in reconnecting with Chidera. Ogonna took his number, and gave him ours. Chichi isn’t aware of this though. What do you think? Should we tell him? Ogonna seems to think so.”

There was silence for a few seconds, before Akwaugo broke into hysterical laughter.

“You and Ogonna won’t kill me oh! You won’t kill me!” she shrieked, when she finally caught her breath. “Ihunna, you too, listen to yourself. ‘He was with his wife, but he seemed really interested in reconnecting with Chidera’. Are you and Ogonna crazy?! We are lamenting about what the gist would be when people find out Chidera has been impregnated by someone other than her husband, now you want to add more pepper to the gist by making it public that her baby daddy is a small boy? And a newly wed for that matter?!!!”

“I know. I was just a bit confused…”

If you and that over-sabi sister of yours know what’s good for you, you better kill that thought…and fast too! As far as we are concerned, he does not exist!!! Delete his number, and block his if he ever tries calling you! Things are bad enough as they are!”

When the conversation was over, the weight of everything we had talked about weighed heavily on me. Was I being childish and inconsiderate by still holding on to the anger of what Aunty Caroline did to my family? Was Chiemela really wasting time neither he nor Akwaugo had? Was I being silly by starting to think Ogonna had a point about keeping Okei, Chidera’s baby daddy, in the loop of things?

My heart jumped when I heard the familiar sound of my husband’s car pulling into the driveway, knowing he was just the sounding board I needed for all my worries.

 

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Photo Credit

  1. http://www.gingersolomon.com

 

Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret
  91. Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to move on
  92. Confessions of a Fat Girl 92: Have some fruit!
  93. Confessions of a Fat Girl 93: Family Easter
  94. Confessions of a Fat Girl 94: Sister Reunion
  95. Confessions of a Fat Girl 95: Perfect Fit; Perfect Surprise
  96. Confessions of a Fat Girl 96: The Love Story
  97. Confessions of a Fat Girl 97: Caught in the middle
  98. Confessions of a Fat Girl 98: Kisses…and Blood
  99. Confessions of a Fat Girl 99: Past…or Present Tense
  100. Confessions of a Fat Girl 100: Jewel
  101. Confessions of a Fat Girl 101: “Ill find you…and I’ll kill you”
  102. Confessions of a Fat Girl 102: Homecoming
  103. Confessions of a Fat Girl 103: Fever Pitch
  104. Confessions of a Fat Girl 104: Whodunit?
  105. Confessions of a Fat Girl 105: The Hypocrite
  106. Confessions of a Fat Girl 106: Message from Mom
  107. Confessions of a Fat Girl 107: Accountability & Responsibility
  108. Confessions of a Fat Girl 108: It’s for the best
  109. Confessions of a Fat Girl 109: Port Harcourt
  110. Confessions of a Fat Girl 110: While you were away
  111. Confessions of a Fat Girl 111: Planning…and a little bit of Salmon
  112. Confessions of a Fat Girl 112: Putting yourself first
  113. Confessions of a Fat Girl 113: Fruit Crumble
  114. Confessions of a Fat Girl 114: Resting Heart Rate
  115. Confessions of a Fat Girl 115: Shishi, he no get
  116. Confessions of a Fat Girl 116: The truth hurts
  117. Confessions of a Fat Girl 117: Veggie Burger
  118. Confessions of a Fat Girl 118: Weight Watchers Porn
  119. Confessions of a Fat Girl 119: The Worst That Can Happen
  120. Confessions of a Fat Girl 120: Baby Dady
  121. Confessions of a Fat Girl 121: Not a Player
  122. Confessions of a Fat Girl 122: Fat versus Fit Brain
  123. Confessions of a Fat Girl 123: Aunty Caroline

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