Confessions of a Fat Girl 116: The Truth Hurts!

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May 21st, 2010

The truth hurts!

And I mean really hurts! If you ever want to find out just exactly how unfit you really are, sign up for a session with a personal trainer. Yesterday, I subjected to a lengthy session with my trainer, and he damned well almost killed me! When I woke up in this morning, I could barely walk. I could barely even sit down on the toilet, and nearly started crying when I had to stand up again. And it didn’t get better as the day went on. I’m still extremely sore now!

But I must be nuts because, even though I was in a lot of pain, I went back for another session this morning, this time to work on upper body and abs. I must have pushed myself much harder when I worked on my arms/abs these past few months, because I’m not nearly as sore from the waist up. I’m pretty proud of that fact. I’m definitely going to have to have my trainer dial back the leg workouts a bit so I don’t have as much post-workout soreness. I can’t be having several days recovery time, as it’s starting to interfere with my life. The results might be a bit slower, but if I’m too finished to work out the day after a marathon session, it seems counter-intuitive. I’m going to do a bit of gentle yoga tomorrow morning, to stretch and warm my aching muscles.

Like everything, finding the right balance is key. I need to be pushed a little harder. Being this sore after a workout proves that. But I can’t push so hard that it sets me back. Baby steps and maybe…and a few less ball-squats.

But that’s not even the real motivation for this evening’s post!

So, I was watching Tinsel this evening, and before I even realized it, I had an almost empty bag of crisps in front of me.

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Something switched on the autopilot, and I have to admit it was hard to shut it down. When I woke from the fog and realized what I was doing, I was really upset because unconscious eating is one of my biggest issues and I’ve been having some good successes working on dealing with it. So, the question now is…what can I do about it and how can I keep that autopilot disconnected?

I have realized I need to:

Know my triggers!

After I threw the empty bag of crisps away, I turned off the TV and sat down to have a think about what triggered this bout of emotional eating. There was a time JJ used to travel so much for work, and food was my biggest companion. As the business grew, the traveling became much more sporadic. But these days, I have found myself snacking out of loneliness/boredom, like I haven’t done in a long time.

Maybe it was because I was also stressing about telling my trainer that I need him to take it easy with the leg workouts. Confrontation has always been hard for me, but I have resolved to call him and let him know where I stand.

But that’s no excuse.

Eating feelings away does not work. They only stay away for a minute and then what? I still have to deal with them so they don’t paralyze my life. Awareness of feelings and dealing with them is half the battle.

Know my trigger foods!

Healthy snacks can be a problem if the portion gets out of control. I need to use my measuring cup when I eat my nuts and snacks, to remind me to measure my portion into a bowl and NOT eat out of the bag!!!

Have a back up plan!

I have decided that anytime I feel a snack attack coming on, I’ll do something else. Tonight, I should have asked myself why I wanted food and thought about it for a moment. What did I really want/need instead of that snack? And then I should have redirected myself away from the kitchen. Maybe brushed my teeth or put on a face mask, gone to gist with Chidera, called my sisters, got my journal out, made a cup of tea, practiced my relaxation technique. There are so many other things I could have done!

This was a hard post. Accountability isn’t always easy but it’s working for me.

Fingers crossed for Monday’s weigh in!

 

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Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret
  91. Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to move on
  92. Confessions of a Fat Girl 92: Have some fruit!
  93. Confessions of a Fat Girl 93: Family Easter
  94. Confessions of a Fat Girl 94: Sister Reunion
  95. Confessions of a Fat Girl 95: Perfect Fit; Perfect Surprise
  96. Confessions of a Fat Girl 96: The Love Story
  97. Confessions of a Fat Girl 97: Caught in the middle
  98. Confessions of a Fat Girl 98: Kisses…and Blood
  99. Confessions of a Fat Girl 99: Past…or Present Tense
  100. Confessions of a Fat Girl 100: Jewel
  101. Confessions of a Fat Girl 101: “Ill find you…and I’ll kill you”
  102. Confessions of a Fat Girl 102: Homecoming
  103. Confessions of a Fat Girl 103: Fever Pitch
  104. Confessions of a Fat Girl 104: Whodunit?
  105. Confessions of a Fat Girl 105: The Hypocrite
  106. Confessions of a Fat Girl 106: Message from Mom
  107. Confessions of a Fat Girl 107: Accountability & Responsibility
  108. Confessions of a Fat Girl 108: It’s for the best
  109. Confessions of a Fat Girl 109: Port Harcourt
  110. Confessions of a Fat Girl 110: While you were away
  111. Confessions of a Fat Girl 111: Planning…and a little bit of Salmon
  112. Confessions of a Fat Girl 112: Putting yourself first
  113. Confessions of a Fat Girl 113: Fruit Crumble
  114. Confessions of a Fat Girl 114: Resting Heart Rate
  115. Confessions of a Fat Girl 115: Shishi, he no get

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