Confessions of a Fat Girl 112: Putting Yourself First!

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14th May, 2010

This week was quite a good week. I kept to my word and got plenty of rest, to make up for the last few rather hectic weeks. But yesterday, I did find time to visit my shop at Ikota. I’ve been checking on them consistently, even when I was away in the States and Enugu, but I knew I couldn’t put off going there much longer. Even though business has been…well…fair, I know I need to take a decision about the shop…and fast. It’s either I get more serious about stocking the place with things I know will move, or I just shut it down and use it as a store for my other business. Before the end of this month, I’ll know what to do.

As for Chidera, talk about a complete turn around! Her mood took a complete 180 degree turn from what it was last week, and she is now back to her normal, bubbly self. Yesterday, we were finally able to talk, when she got back from work. Apparently, she’d gone to see her doctor the day before, this time not to discuss an abortion, but for her first proper introduction to her baby.

“Ihunna, it was beautiful!” she gushed. “When I heard the baby’s heartbeat, it dawned on me that I am really having a baby!!! I’m going to be a Mom again!!!”

My heart was overflowing to see her so happy and, for her sake, I tried to suppress the worries and fears I still nursed.

“So, when will you be traveling?” I asked her.

She stared back blankly. “Traveling for what?”

“Remember I said Ogonna has offered her place in America for you to stay, when you take your leave of absence from work.” I answered.

Chidera laughed. “Why on earth will I take a leave of absence of work? Why should I jeopardize my career because I’m expecting a baby? When I am not the first person!”

Shock isn’t enough to describe my feeling, as I looked back at her.

“So you’re going to be here with your big stomach?” I asked, not quite believing what I was hearing.

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“Live oh!” she quipped. “Na here I go dey until time don reach for me to born!” she rose to her feet, chuckling. “So, I should uproot myself and my family all because I don’t want people to talk. Ihunna, you’re funny oh!”

This my cousin must surely have a personality disorder!

“And what are you going to tell your baby daddy? If he sees you with a big stomach, surely he’ll put 2 and 2 together.”

“Only if he thinks he was the only one I was sleeping with. And where’s the proof he was!” Chidera retorted.

Okay now!

“Ihu, I know you’re concerned…and I’m grateful. But don’t worry. All will be well. You know my pregnancies don’t show till much later, so I have a few months to figure these details out. In the meantime, I just want to enjoy this pregnancy!”

I stood and pulled her in for a hug, berating myself for worrying too much. Things would most surely sort themselves out! I am actually so proud of her for putting herself first. It’s one thing I think we, as women, need to do more.

Later at night, it made me think what exactly “putting myself first” means? Does it mean I am selfish, putting my needs before others? Does it mean that I am so into myself that I can’t see past my own circumstances? Or does it mean to take good care of myself so I can take better care of others, be a better friend, live a better life?

Many years of putting my health and fitness at the bottom of the list (hmm, to be honest, they weren’t even on the list) and not putting myself first took their toll. I became obese, depressed, sluggish, hard to get along with and just plain unhappy. I think women in general have a hard time saying no and putting themselves first. I also think we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect. No wonder we don’t get enough sleep, don’t eat right, get constipated, get stressed out and overeat.

The moment I decided to make my health and fitness the top priority in my life, the moment that I learned to say no to things that weren’t absolutely essential and would take time away from what needed to be done, was the moment things started to change for the better. I started to become a better person, a better wife, a better mom, and a better friend. I started to see that happiness was within reach, and that I had the power to make it happen.

It’s okay to put yourself first, and it’s okay to say no! It’s important to take charge of your health, and put yourself on the list. No one will do it for you.

Food for thought!

 

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Photo Credit

  1. http://www.clipartbest.com

 

Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret
  91. Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to move on
  92. Confessions of a Fat Girl 92: Have some fruit!
  93. Confessions of a Fat Girl 93: Family Easter
  94. Confessions of a Fat Girl 94: Sister Reunion
  95. Confessions of a Fat Girl 95: Perfect Fit; Perfect Surprise
  96. Confessions of a Fat Girl 96: The Love Story
  97. Confessions of a Fat Girl 97: Caught in the middle
  98. Confessions of a Fat Girl 98: Kisses…and Blood
  99. Confessions of a Fat Girl 99: Past…or Present Tense
  100. Confessions of a Fat Girl 100: Jewel
  101. Confessions of a Fat Girl 101: “Ill find you…and I’ll kill you”
  102. Confessions of a Fat Girl 102: Homecoming
  103. Confessions of a Fat Girl 103: Fever Pitch
  104. Confessions of a Fat Girl 104: Whodunit?
  105. Confessions of a Fat Girl 105: The Hypocrite
  106. Confessions of a Fat Girl 106: Message from Mom
  107. Confessions of a Fat Girl 107: Accountability & Responsibility
  108. Confessions of a Fat Girl 108: It’s for the best
  109. Confessions of a Fat Girl 109: Port Harcourt
  110. Confessions of a Fat Girl 110: While you were away
  111. Confessions of a Fat Girl 111: Planning…and a little bit of Salmon

 

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