Confessions of a Fat Girl 110: While You Were Away

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10th May, 2010

After a wonderful weekend, culminating in a beautiful Thanksgiving service, Akwaugo and I left Port Harcourt earlier today. I couldn’t have imagined the weekend going any better. I had nursed a little worry about meeting Ifeanyi’s late wife’s people…her friends and family. Port Harcourt was her town, and even if they hadn’t been able to make it to Enugu for the wedding, I knew they would turn out in large numbers for the Thanksgiving. And I was right. Their mutual friends made up the vast majority of the attendees. But contrary to my worries, they had all been so warm and welcoming, full of kind words for the new bride of their late friend’s / sister’s / cousin’s widower, urging her to ‘take care of him for them’. It was heartwarming, and also very reassuring. The reception at home had also been wonderful, and everyone seemed to marvel over how ‘beautiful’ Ogonna and her sisters are! Akwaugo and I exchanged many bemused looks. Eeeeehn! So we are this fine! JJ needs to hear this oh! He needs to know that his wife was a big hit in Port Harcourt!

The only cloud that hung over our heads was the issue with Chidera, which we didn’t talk about again after Friday. There was really nothing to say that we hadn’t already. All we could was pray for her.

So, Akwaugo and I set off for Lagos this morning, with Ogonna and Ifeanyi preparing to finally leave for their honeymoon tomorrow. Thankfully, our flight was on time, as it would have been a disaster if it hadn’t, as it would have meant Akwaugo missing her flight back to New York tonight. We were back home a little after noon, and had just enough time to have lunch, run to the market to buy some food stuff she wanted to return with, get back home to do some last minute packing, before heading to the international airport. We got there a little after 5pm, I hung around till about 7pm, and I bade my dear sister farewell, wishing her luck with the monumental task that lies ahead for her…introducing the man that could soon be her husband to her children and possibly the man who once had been.

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By the time I got home at 9pm, I was so exhausted, and longed for my bed with every fibre in my being. I’d initially wanted to give Chidera a bit of space, and possibly talk to her tomorrow, but my mind was too uneasy to wait any longer. I soon found myself walking to her room, and knocking timidly on the door. The kids opted to share my children’s rooms, so I knew she would be the only one I’d be disturbing.

“Come in…” came a weak voice.

Pushing the door open, and seeing the way she had curled herself into a ball, my heart plummeted to the floor. Had she already gone ahead to have the abortion?!!

“Chidera…” I called out, as I sat beside where she lay.

“Ihunna…I didn’t expect to see you tonight. I thought you’d be at the airport…”

“I just got back.” I answered, searching her face for any signs of distress, pain, or trauma. “How are you feeling?”

She smiled, and sat up in her bed. “What you really want to ask is if I had the abortion while you were in Port Harcourt…right?”

I didn’t even know how to respond to that, because we both knew she was correct.

She inhaled deeply. “I went to the clinic on Saturday morning. I wanted to do it while you were away. I figured it would be easier that way.”

I nodded and closed my eyes. Of course that’s what she did. Akwaugo was right. I found myself getting angry for leaving her alone this weekend.

“My doctor recommended a good doctor…and I went there, and the place was neat. Not at all like what I’d imagined an abortion clinic to be…but I guess it’s because it wasn’t just an abortion clinic, but just a regular hospital…”

I squeezed her hand tight, as memories of my own experience flooded my head. I hadn’t been as lucky, and had been forced to have mine in a dingy, poorly-lit room in downtown Enugu. I still have memories about that awful place.

“They led me into a room…that looked very similar to a delivery room. It was when they fastened my legs with the stirrups that it dawned on me what I was there for. The last time I was in the position, I was giving birth to a child…and there I was trying to kill another…” her voice broke, and tears started streaming down her face. “I started screaming. I knew I couldn’t do it! I couldn’t do it, Ihunna! I couldn’t do it!”

I held her as she cried, and a wave of relief swept through me. I hadn’t realized how much her decision was weighing down on me, until that very moment, and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest.

“You made the right choice, Chichi!” I said soothingly, rocking my weeping cousin. “We’ll figure this out. I promise you.”

And I knew we most surely would. Ogonna’s offer was still on the table…both her offers, in fact. Chidera can hide out in America for the duration of her pregnancy, and if she doesn’t think she can bear taking care of the child, Ogonna has already offered to step in.

Whichever way, we’ll surely sort it out…someway, somehow!

 

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Photo Credit

  1. http://www.lifelovelauren.com

 

Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret
  91. Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to move on
  92. Confessions of a Fat Girl 92: Have some fruit!
  93. Confessions of a Fat Girl 93: Family Easter
  94. Confessions of a Fat Girl 94: Sister Reunion
  95. Confessions of a Fat Girl 95: Perfect Fit; Perfect Surprise
  96. Confessions of a Fat Girl 96: The Love Story
  97. Confessions of a Fat Girl 97: Caught in the middle
  98. Confessions of a Fat Girl 98: Kisses…and Blood
  99. Confessions of a Fat Girl 99: Past…or Present Tense
  100. Confessions of a Fat Girl 100: Jewel
  101. Confessions of a Fat Girl 101: “Ill find you…and I’ll kill you”
  102. Confessions of a Fat Girl 102: Homecoming
  103. Confessions of a Fat Girl 103: Fever Pitch
  104. Confessions of a Fat Girl 104: Whodunit?
  105. Confessions of a Fat Girl 105: The Hypocrite
  106. Confessions of a Fat Girl 106: Message from Mom
  107. Confessions of a Fat Girl 107: Accountability & Responsibility
  108. Confessions of a Fat Girl 108: It’s for the best
  109. Confessions of a Fat Girl 109: Port Harcourt

 

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