Confessions of a Fat Girl 105: The Hypocrite!

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1st May, 2010

With our new in-laws waiting in the living room, the four of us sat somberly in the bedroom, and heard the story about how Chidera had given in to lust and passion, with a junior colleague of hers.

“He joined my team sometime last year, and was always flirting with me. It was always harmless, as everyone thought I was happily married. But I enjoyed the attention. I loved the fact that he always complimented me about how I looked, and made me actually feel desirable…” Chidera tearfully explained. “A few weeks ago, the week after Ihunna stayed with me, we had to work late, and, in conversation, I ended up telling him all about my separation, and how traumatic it has been for me. He was full of sympathy, and reassured me that there was absolutely nothing wrong me, and that my husband had to be a fool to let me go. One thing led to another…we decided to grab some dinner on the way home…he offered to drive me in his car…when we got to my house, it was already late, the kids were asleep…and I invited him in…” she shrugged. “It just happened. I was so desperate for physical and emotional affection that I couldn’t have stopped myself, even if I wanted to.”

Ogonna sighed deeply. “So you slept with him that one time?”

Chidera shook her head, and my stomach dropped. “We continued. Everyday after work, we’d find somewhere to go…it was always my house at first, but after the kids and I moved in with Ihunna…we found other alternatives…”

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“So, effectively, you are both in a relationship! Then there’s not really a problem!” Ogonna said, her voice raised with hope.

“He’s married, Ogonna. He just got married this past December,” was the bombshell Chidera dropped, that sent a collective gasp round the room.

“Chidera, how old is this man?” Akwaugo exclaimed.

“29.”

“Heiiii!” Akwaugo exclaimed.

“Babe, what are you going to do?” I asked, finally finding my voice. “Does he know?”

Chidera shook her head. “I only just found out…and I haven’t told him anything,” she looked up at me, her eyes tear filled. “Ihunna, I don’t know what I’m going to do…”

“What do you mean you don’t know what you’re going to do?! Are you kidding me right now?!” Akwaugo exclaimed. “Of course you’re getting an abortion! It’s not rocket science!”

“God forbid!” Ogonna said sharply. “She is doing no such thing!”

Akwaugo laughed humourlessly. “Are we really, seriously, having this conversation? A woman who has been separated barely a few months, pregnant for her married, junior colleague? Is this really something we are debating?”

Ogonna reached for Chidera’s hands. “Chichi, we will support you! If you don’t want the child, I will take it off you. Just don’t do something you will regret for a lifetime. Please!”

“Ogonna, please stop all this sanctimonious foolishness! Keeping the child is less an issue than carrying it! What will she tell the world? What will she tell her children? How will she explain walking around with a big stomach? You want her former in-laws, and everyone else for that matter, to turn her into a laughing stock?!”

“Akwaugo, those are much better than the guilt she will carry if she terminates that child!” Ogonna shouted. “I know, because I’ve been there before!”

Akwaugo laughed. “Ogonna, biko sit down! You think you’re the only one! For your information, I’ve also had one before! And I know Ihunna had one for JJ, back in the UNN days. Even this same Chidera, I’m sure she has done it before, so please try another line!”

Ogonna looked at me, shocked, and I looked away, but not before giving Akwaugo a dirty look, for revealing an almost 20-year old secret!

“Actually, Akwaugo, I haven’t.” Chidera answered, looking her straight in the eye. “As a Catholic, it goes against everything I stand for! You might call me a hypocrite for having sex out of wedlock, but that is still better than taking a life!”

Oho! If Akwaugo hadn’t been feeling like Radio Nigeria, I would have told her that for free! Why did she think I had opted to spend my small money to call her, all the way in America, when I had mine? It’s because my cousin, Chidera, flatly refused to be involved in anything that would end the life of the child I was carrying.

“Ihunna, it’s better you just have this baby!” Chidera had said to me, at the time. “JJ loves you! Don’t do what God won’t forgive you for!”

Neither of us was a saint, and Chidera was also sexually active with whomever her boyfriend at the time was. But the only difference was that she’d been more careful, because if she’d fallen pregnant, abortion was not an option for her.

Yes, JJ did love me, but I had only just turned 20. It would have broken my family’s heart, especially as it was so soon after my Mom had passed away. So, I had taken the easy way out. Chidera had been so disappointed in me, that she’d kept away for days…leaving me with no other choice than to make the very expensive calls to my immediate older sister in America, for moral support.

But I never forgot that baby. My heart tells me it was a girl, and every December, I calculate how old she would have been, if I’d let her be born. Sadly, I realized this year, she would have turned 18…

“So, you’re going to have the baby?!” Akwaugo asked, incredulously. “Chi, whatever you decide, we’ll support you oh…but I won’t be true to you, or myself, if I don’t tell you that this is an awful idea!”

“I don’t know if I’m keeping it or not…” Chidera cut in. “I…I haven’t yet decided…”

“Are you going to tell him?” came Legachi’s small voice, obviously subdued by the gravity of the subject matter.

“Absolutely not! That’s not even an option!” Chidera said vehemently. “Whatever I decide to do, I’ll figure it out on my own!”

As we finally dispersed from the room, leading Ogonna to her waiting husband, the issue weighed heavily on all our minds.

Not one of us knew the best thing for her to do!

 

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Photo Credit

  1. http://senoecoseno.it

 

Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret
  91. Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to move on
  92. Confessions of a Fat Girl 92: Have some fruit!
  93. Confessions of a Fat Girl 93: Family Easter
  94. Confessions of a Fat Girl 94: Sister Reunion
  95. Confessions of a Fat Girl 95: Perfect Fit; Perfect Surprise
  96. Confessions of a Fat Girl 96: The Love Story
  97. Confessions of a Fat Girl 97: Caught in the middle
  98. Confessions of a Fat Girl 98: Kisses…and Blood
  99. Confessions of a Fat Girl 99: Past…or Present Tense
  100. Confessions of a Fat Girl 100: Jewel
  101. Confessions of a Fat Girl 101: “Ill find you…and I’ll kill you”
  102. Confessions of a Fat Girl 102: Homecoming
  103. Confessions of a Fat Girl 103: Fever Pitch
  104. Confessions of a Fat Girl 104: Whodunit?

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