Chocolates, Cakes, Flowers and Infertility: Valentine’s Day Edition



Did you see that meme, depicting the scenario between boys and girls on Valentine’s Day? One half of the meme showed the young man chasing after the girl, with flowers in hand and love in his eyes on Valentine’s Day. The other half showed the young lady chasing the young man, with a protruding belly, and him running as fast as his legs could carry him, nine months later. It’s amusing, but it would have been nice if that is the reality in TTC couples.

In that case, there would have been no need to be doing any chasing around, all will be done with love. I remember vividly how Valentine’s Day last year was ruined for a TTC friend of mine, Esther. The day fell during her 2ww, or so she thought, and she hoped that it was going to bring good tidings at the end of it.

For the day itself, Esther had high expectations. Even though it was supposed to be a surprise, she knew her husband had booked for a fruit cake for her, from her favourite baker. She heard him making calls about something for later in the evening and didn’t have much details, but she was sure of the fact that it was going to be a great day for her.  On her part, she got him a gift card from an electronic shop so he could knock himself out, getting whatever took his fancy.  

Valentine’s Day dawned bright and beautiful, she woke him up with a one-of-a-kind experience, hinting at what was to come later in the night. Both of them had this naughty grin on their faces, as they stepped out of their house that day.

By noon, Esther took delivery of her anticipated fruit cake, which was delivered by the baker herself, with a sweet smile alongside, some flowers, which caused heads to turn in her office momentarily. She was high on excitement and literally purred over the phone, when she called her husband to thank him for his gifts.

Esther was imagining all sorts things she was going to do to her man later, when she went into the restroom, a with spring in her footstep.  She finished her business,  wiped and beheld the harbinger of Aunt Flo. Geez!! The witch was going to show up after all and by the timing of the spotting, she would be spotting more by the time she got home, so no baby dance for that day.  

It threw her off track completely. Her spirit became dampened. Even though she tried to brighten up as she returned to her seat, it would take a lot more to do that. Her colleagues would catch a glimpse of the flowers and hail her once in a while, some would comment about how the night was going to be hot, and Esther would cry inside of her. How she wished it to be so!

She got home first and set about making dinner but when her husband got home, he just told her put on something decent that they were running late for somewhere, they had to go.  Putting things back in the freezer, Esther went to get dressed and off they went. He drove them to a spa she had been raving about for some time now and there, she forgot about Aunt Flo, as the masseurs prodded away all the stress from her body.

Finally, they headed home, totally relaxed and that was when Esther told her husband about Aunt Flo’s arrival. Without words, he pulled her into a hug and told her not to give it any thought, as their own baby would soon come.

Like Esther’s husband said, their baby has come. They will be celebrating this year’s Valentine’s Day with her. That visit by Aunt Flo was the last for the next nine months. Now, she remembers not only the drama the day brought, but also the beautiful memories that followed.

Another couple who have been waiting for some time now, deliberately and consciously forget about everything TTC on Valentine’s Day, as they make it all about themselves and their love for each other. And it has worked marvellously for them.

If you were to meet them, you would think they just got married. They always look besotted with each other and that must stand them in good stead in their fertility journey.

There was one Valentine’s Day the husband literally went over board; she woke up to breakfast in bed, flowers were presented to her as she stepped out of their bedroom and then everywhere she looked, there was chocolate. The most beautiful part for me was that he made a video of the whole experience, and shared on the WhatsApp group, we all belong. Oh my goodness, it was such a lovely thing for him to do. Her reaction was priceless. While she had lots of chocolate to give out afterwards, he was the benchmark by which other men on the group were measured for a long time. It was that good. That day, he made his wife feel like a queen…baby or no baby.

So, ladies and gentlemen, no matter where you are In your infertility journey this Valentine’s Day, don’t leave love out of it.

Remember, you are a team, it’s you and your partner against the world, and it’s only the two of your working together that can make your baby dreams come through and make the journey to baby, an easy one on yourselves.

Remember to set your worries aside for one day; Stay off of the internet, stop reading about infertility, step away from chats about TTC and just enjoy each other’s company.

And emm, forget about going out. It’s a work day anyways and the restaurants will be jam packed! You don’t need that. Go for a romantic, candlelit dinner at home, if you can pull it off, or just watch a movie cuddled up together.

Have some baby dance…or not. Whatever feels right to you both.

Taking time off TTC helps renew your focus on each other and your love is made stronger by that renewal.

So, today, just enjoy!



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