I salute you, moms. Whether we waited for 10 years, five, three months or didn’t even do any waiting for our kids, we can all agree that being someone’s mom is a special feeling that is guaranteed to come with a wide range of emotions throughout one’s life, as we never stop being moms to our kids.
As a Pastor is wont to say, every woman is a mom! She is nurturing someone, or even some people, without knowing it, and it is all done instinctively, without thought. So, to the single ladies, whose job description includes taking care of father, mother, sisters and brothers and even members of their extended family, here’s to you for your selfless contribution to the human race. Consider it practice for when you are ready. Let no one dim your light, just because you don’t have a ring on your third finger. We have you as sisters, as friends, and even acquaintances, and we hail you.
To the single mom, who has to do it alone, either by choice or force, God bless you. Many, with the loving support of their partner, still struggle, how much more you. I recognize your struggle, and sometimes, it feels like I’m in your shoes too. The difference is, I’m not, and you’re in it. It’s unfair you say, yes, but it’s your reality and you are doing just great.
Just last year, someone I know found herself in this position. I did not know her well enough before she got pregnant, but I was so drawn to her afterwards. The pregnancy was so easy for her, she was practically strutting till she gave birth, and then it hit her.
There she was with a dependent baby on her arms, in the already tight living quarters of her parents’ home. She pitied herself, she pitied her baby for having to make such choices for her, and she pitied her parents for bringing such pain into their lives. No matter how much her mom lovingly took care of her grand child, she would look at the baby and it’s mom whimsically. The implication was clear.
It did not matter that the man responsible for the pregnancy accepted it, the fact that he was not ready to get married to her was the bone of contention, and the truth was, she is in no shape to be someone’s wife either.
Here’s to the mom, who has a partner, but still has to do it all. We all know how our men can sometimes be so clueless about how to help out with the kids, or it could be a case of machismo; where taking care of babies is considered a woman’s job. It’s unfair, yes, but it’s also life. He will make up for it one way or another. Stay the course!
To the working mom, who can sometimes be weighed down with guilt over not paying adequate attention to her kids, you are doing fine. The perpetual struggle to maintain the ‘mythical’ work-life balance will always be there, so no worries. The constant urge to call home, to find out how the kids were doing, the meetings missed, due to hospital runs, the promotions denied, due to too many absences from the office, makes it almost irrelevant even if you are the personification of the best employee.
And if you are doing your own thing, then I say kudos to you, for all the times, you wonder, if you can breathe at all, from juggling everything on your plate. I’m here to tell you, yes, you can breathe, and with time, you will more than exhale.
To the Stay-At-Home-Mom, who minds everyone else’s business and has no business outside of her home, I salute your strength. Your willingness to put your own dreams and aspirations on the back burner for the sake of your family, requires a medal. You endure lonely moments, when everyone else is about their business and you’re waiting for yours to come home.
If you are accused of being lazy, talk about your nanny-cook-cleaner-doctor-nurse-lesson teacher-masssuer roles, which you play on a daily basis, amongst others. If they say you watch too much Bollywood movies or Telemundo, what about the countless times you have been watching everyone else sleep, while you kill mosquitoes, or the times you were on keep-the-temperature-down duty, till morning, so you could go to the hospital, even if you have not slept, would be first up to get everyone else prepared.
Cooped up in your home, there is often no other woman to bounce ideas off, or seek advice on how to sort out a knotty issue. You are like an island, and some people envy you? Ma’am, it takes a strong and selfless person to do what you do and not lose yourself in the process.
To the Stepmom who, though struggling with raising their own kids, decides to create more space in their heart for one more, or two, or even more children, you rock. It doesn’t matter, that you are struggling with the increased number of children, it does not matter that your new step kids will not readily accept you and may bruise your open heart in the process, it still beats for them.
For all the moments, it feels like there is a gang up against you, or you feel low, as a result of these kids, know that you are doing something right, and here is a bear hug for you.
To the mom with her child in the hospital, I see you every day and my heart aches for you. How you still manage to pull yourself together and attend to your ailing baby and others, I don’t know, but I say kudos. To the mom, with the premature baby, I totally understand your fears; “Is she going to make it after all?” “Will I leave this neonatal unit empty handed or with my baby?” I get you.
All, I can say is, it’s going to get better. The tubes attached everywhere will do their job, the search for vein on her tiny body will end, and you will be able to put her to your breast someday.
To the Grandmothers, who are guardian angels, ever ready to come to the aid of the younger mom, I love you. You are the rarest rose there is, you are the fountain of knowledge, a strong back, and an even stronger arm. You are the fearless general, who can deal with anything, and everything, thrown in your lap. The retired but never tired mom, you give us hope that it’s all going to end well someday.
Here’s to all of us moms, as we wrap up this month of March, dedicated to celebrating womanhood.
Moms make the world go round.
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