Me: Hi, you are invited to a party
Myself: Oh really? Where?
Myself: Who is celebrating?
Me: Me, Myself and I
Myself: Who are we celebrating?
Me: Me, Myself and I
Myself: What are we celebrating?
Me: Life, Good health, Love, Family, Friends, Career
Myself: Hmmmn let’s get the drinks out then!
This literally happened to me when I was actively trying to conceive! I had this conversation in my head, then proceeded to get a drink from the fridge, tuned in to Soundcity, and started to have a party that only Me, Myself and I were invited to. Have you ever heard of the 80/20 rule? This rule states that everything we want is 100 percent. Now, somehow we managed to get 80 percent of what we want, and we have 20 percent that we still crave. Unfortunately, what we do not have, appears to be more important that what we do have, and we are sometimes willing to give up our 80 percent just for the 20 percent that we lack; and if we are not lucky, we could lose it all together. A good example is a man who has a good wife at home, but craves some physically more appealing woman outside. Now, his wife is a good mother to his kids, she picks up after him, cooks, cleans, prays and does everything a great wife should do. Somehow, he convinces himself that all he needs is this hottie outside and he neglects his 80 percent at home, to go after 20 percent outside. When he does get this 20 percent, 80 percent finds out and 80 percent walks out of the door. Then he realizes that 20 percent doesn’t clean, cook or pray, nor is she respectful to his mother or kind to his friends, so he leaves 20 percent and starts chasing 80 percent again.
Oprah Winfrey once said that you can have it all, but you can’t have it all at once. Right now as a mother, I crave for some me-time. I yearn for those days when hubby would be out of town for the weekend, and I would have the house to myself; to do anything I wanted to do. I could decide to stay in bed and read a novel all day, or watch series after series on TV. I could stay on the phone for hours gossiping with my friends, sisters and mom, or spend a long time in prayer and meditation. Those days for me were therapeutic and I relish those stolen moments of solitude. Now? With a toddler running around the house, a husband to attend to, a career to invest in, and friends and family to make out time for, I have no me-time. In retrospect, I wish I spent more of my TTC days celebrating myself (and then putting in baby-making work at night), but its the 80/20 rule again! For some reason, getting a baby was all I was consumed with, and my days were spent worrying, while my nights were spent putting in work.
It wouldn’t sound logical to anyone that you are celebrating yourself whilst TTC, would it? Well, that’s why no one else is invited but you. The truth is you need this party. You need to remember that there is more to life, and that the fact that the baby isn’t here yet, doesn’t mean you are not having a fabulous life. You need this party to maintain your sanity, so you don’t get buried in the quest for a child, so that, even when the quest ends, you are no longer able to recognize yourself. You need this party because, you, your life, your marriage are worth celebrating. You need this party because soon the parties you would be throwing wouldn’t be about you; from baby showers, to naming ceremonies, baptism, child dedications, first word, first steps, first birthday, first day at school. It would no longer be about you, so this little time that you have, before some little angel comes and takes up all the attention, throw yourself a party!
You go, girl! Celebrate!
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