Beginning the TTC Adventure

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Part of the excitement of getting married is the thought of having babies with this person who has swept you completely off your feet. As you pick your wedding gown, argue with vendors, and agree on centre pieces, you anticipate how, maybe, in another year, there will be a new addition to your family! Sometimes, and as is common with a lot of couples these days, this a little further along than a year. Whenever it is you look forward to becoming parents, you don’t expect it to be too hard.

For the first few months of your marriage, you are blissfully excited and oh-so-in-love! The days of birth control and panic over false alarms are over, and you both are free to love each other with reckless abandon. If you are one of the lucky ones, before you know it, you get pregnant, have your babies, and all is wonderful in your world. Huge congrats to you. You can stop reading this article now. If, however, a few cycles have gone by without a hint of a :bfp:, you can go on.

So…after a few failed cycles, you get yourself into TTC mode. You regret not listening to the timed intercourse class when you had marriage counselling, and proceed to properly educate yourself about your cycle. Not just safe and dangerous days, but about the days in-between too. You read more about ovulation signs, and start to listen to your body more. It is at this point that you probably meet Miss EWCM (Egg White Cervical Mucous) for the first time. If you feel even more strongly about it, you might also even invest in ovulation predictor kits every month. You might even go the extra mile of charting your temperature. In the end, you might have about 10 ways of predicting your ovulation.

The next step is the timed sex! Gone are the days of just doing it only when and where you feel like it. You could still do that, but in addition, your man is on a set timetable, and he is instructed to make himself available on the scheduled days. And woe betide him if he has to work late, is out with friends, or is even tired. Come rain or shine, he must be available to perform. If you are one of the lucky ones, he will also be involved with the planning schedule, and will be prepared to do whatever it takes. But if you are one of those whose men feel pressurised by the loss of spontaneity in the bedroom, be prepared for the fights that will come. There will be fights…and there will be frustration. In the end, you learn how to be wise, and to manage the situation better. (Ovulation and your other half sheds more light on it).

Anyways, now you and your partner are in one accord about timed sex, and you have been doing it at the “right” time every month, but yet nothing. You decide it’s time to prep your body better with some Conception Boosters. Still no luck. You get your man on vitamins…no luck either. You then start to worry that something could be wrong.

Then you become an internet beast, Dr. Google’s number 1 patient. You are online 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, trying to identify what the problem could be, and find solutions to them. Sometimes, you are able to get a clearer picture of what the possible issue(s) could be, and other times you just end up diagnosing yourself with terminal diseases. Either way, in the end you and your husband agree that it is time for medical intervention, and you proceed to try to Get a Diagnosis.

How you proceed is as wide and varied as what your diagnosis is. But whatever the case, by this time, you are no longer the wide-eyed, naive newly wed who saw the world through rose tinted glasses. You are now a woman weary and jaded from all the failed cycles. But no matter how weary or jaded you have become, you must keep the TTC flame burning. It is this passion that will motivate you to keep trying, even when everything else says you shouldn’t, even when everything indicates that it will not happen for you. You just have to stare your infertility in the face, spit on it, and squash it underfoot. Yours must be a success story, like Mrs. Darl, so help you God!

Good luck, my good people! Baby dust to all!!!!

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Photo Credits

  1. http://www.ashleysbrideguide.com
  2. http://www.essence.com

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24 COMMENTS

  1. pls advice, my flow ceased since Jan. Yet not pregnancy, came out yesterday 3rd May n its very dark. I gave birth since 2001 n since then i’ve been expecting. Ma pls help me how do i boost my ovulation? Thanks

  2. I have followed my wife ovulation charts meticulously. We are having sex all the ovulation days yet she has not taken in for two months. What might be the cause?

    • Hi Stanley. What methods exactly are you using to track her ovulation? Some women ovulate earlier or later than what is considered “normal”. If you are only having sex on these days, you might be missing it.

    • Hello Ekaete. There are a number of reasons why this might be. Did she have her first delivery via c-section? Has she had any abdominal surgery since then? Does she have (a history of) uterine fibroids? Are her periods regular? Is she still lactating? If the root cause is identified, it can then be addressed.

  3. Good morning. Does Uterine fibroid affect conception? I had a miscarriage in december 2015. I had a scan n saw i av 2, d doctors said not to worry (as they are not big and the baby can surpress them while growing) we can TTC and that they don’t affect the baby or disturb pregnancy. Am surprised to see it mention here. We are just about to venture the TTC road as wine (cycle) just finished. Join me with prayers. 🙂 Thanks

    • Tee, Ivie is right. It depends on the size and location. Some large ones might not be located where they will cause any harm, while some tiny ones can cause havoc. I have friends who have successfully carried pregnancies with fibroids…and some that haven’t. If your doctor isn’t worried about the location, neither should you hun :hug:

  4. You are in our prayers Tee @tee. As Ivie said, their location and size are the defining factor in whether they can hinder conception or affect baby’s growth. But, there are times, the fibroid grows just as the baby does.

  5. This blog is a great place for Nigerian women and couples who are struggling to conceive. I love that you started a community where they can be open and know they’re not alone. And while I admire your genuine and heartfelt efforts, it’s still irresponsible to dispense medical advice when you’re not a trained medical professional. You’re only encouraging readers to self-diagnose in a culture that already encourages self-diagnosis and self-medication.

    If you haven’t already, you might want to have a medical professional become a regular contributor for the blog AND still advise readers to seek proper medical advice or care.

    • Dear Ify, if you take time to look through this site, you will see that not only do we not “dispense medical advice”, we have some of Nigeria’s best Gynaecologists on board, ready to answer our Members’ queries. What we do here is offer each other love and support. Thanks for stopping by.

  6. Hi Ify. Thanks for your observation. As a matter of fact, we have several medical experts, including fertility doctors in our community, ready to answer questions from any reader.

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