It’s the second Monday of the month, and time for another success story! This is another one of those stories that just made me smile from ear to ear. As a dear friend in our community keeps saying, it’s just God’s way of showing off! Here’s Adeline*’s story!
I met my husband when we were both 32, and we were married at 34. On our wedding night, we threw away all our condoms, and started trying to conceive. At the back of my mind, I knew that we, or rather I, was starting rather late, but this made me intensify all our efforts. I Googled everything I needed about conceiving in one’s 30s, and made sure we had enough sex to cover all our bases!
After a year, nothing had happened so we went to see our doctor. We had the usual day 3 and day 21 tests for me, and sperm analysis for hubby. My tests came back fine. My husband’s came back nearly fine, but there was an issue with his sperm motility. However, the doctor said he had known men with far less motility go on to conceive, so we brushed it aside.
However, I was lectured sternly about my weight. At 5 feet 4 inches, I weighed a hefty 110kg, and my BMI was over 40, so I vowed to lose some weight. Our doctor then referred us to a fertility specialist.
We proceeded to see the specialist, and she was awful! She was very rude and extremely condescending. Again, I got another lecture about my weight. I was tempted to tell her “I look in the mirror every day, I know I have a weight problem! Duh!”. Instead, I listened through gritted teeth. She also scolded us for leaving it so late to have children. Like that was our fault!. By this point we were nearly 36. It wasn’t a CHOICE, it just happened that way.
Anyway, I was ordered to lose some weight, and was booked for a HSG, to see if my tubes were clear, and a transvaginal ultrasound. The HSG was the most painful experience of my life. I have never cried so much and I nearly broke my husband’s hand. The dye did go through, but it was incredibly tough…. and we later found out why. The ultrasound revealed I had cysts of my ovaries.
In October 2008, two years after we had started TTC, I had a laproscopy to remove the cysts. During the operation, they discovered that I also had cysts on my fallopian tubes and that my tubes were twisted, which was another reason the HSG had been that painful! The recovery was pretty rough, as it took about a week before I could sit on a chair, in a bath, or get off the toilet on my own!
When I was relatively recovered, we started TTC again. We tried everything! Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPKs), temperature charting, cervical position checks, cervical mucuos checks, sex every other day, sex every day, sex only on the ovulation day. Everything we knew, we tried. But nothing worked.
So, I decided to face the weight thing! I started a popular weight loss program, and lost about 30kg. We had decided to go for IVF, but for some reason, we were not able to save money as quickly as we’d hoped. As we were struggling with money, the weight started to creep back on, and soon I had gained back about 20kg of the 30kg I’d lost. At this point, I gave up on the idea of having children and started conditioning my mind to the fact that it would be just the husband and me.
As luck would have it, we were finally able to save up for IVF, but the doctor we saw wanted me to be at a healthy weight before proceeding. He told me to try to lose the 20kg I had regained, taking me down to a reasonable BMI of about 32, after which we would first of all start with IUI, before proceeding to IVF if it didn’t succeed.
Fillwed with more motivation, I resumed the aggressive diet, and desperately tried to lose weight.
Then in December 2010, 4 years since we had been TTC, I had the strangest stomach pains. It felt like I really needed to use the toilet, but even when I did, the pain still persisted. I mentioned it to a colleague of mine, and she immediately said “You’re preggers!”. Yeah right! I forgave her tactlessness, because it was a relatively new job, and she had no idea how long I had been TTC. A few days later, it occurred to me that my period was over a week late, so I decided, what the heck, to test anyway! I didn’t even bother telling my husband I was testing.
It was like a dream when that second illusive line appeared. I honestly felt like I was seeing things; havibng a mirage! I must have gone through 20 test sticks before it finally hit home! My husband was over the moon, but chose to remain cautiously optimistic. In August 2011, our son was born. The most perfect baby in the whole wide world, and we couldn’t be happier. I was a few months shy of my 39th birthday when he was born, and by the time we celebrated his 1st birthday, I was expecting his brother.
After so many years of disappointment, of being told we would never be able to conceive on our own, our family is complete. I wish I could say what had changed to allow us to get pregnant, but in all honesty I think it was pure luck. Never did I stop longing for a child, and every single month I would pray for one. Thank God I didn’t listen to all the people who told me to “Stop thinking about it”, “Relax”, and “It will happen”. We might probably still be trying if I did! Oh, and I have been able to maintain a healthy 72kg 🙂
Wonderful and inspiring story! I think the morale here is never, ever, give up! Do everything that is within your power, and keep on trying. Hopefully one day, you will hit the bullseye!
Good luck, everyone! Have a great week ahead!