My name is Omon, and I have been a member of this community from the very beginning, and a friend of Nicole’s for even longer. When she asked me to share my IVF journal, I totally jumped at the chance! I had already shared my success story in the IVF Group, but well, for the next few weeks, I’ll share with you my experience down the IVF road!
My husband and I got married in October 2009, but we had been actively trying to conceive since December of 2008, which was when we got engaged. It was a personal choice of ours to try from then, so by the time our wedding date came along, we were already rather worried. We decided to give it a few more months, and then, finally, in April 2010 I missed my period!
I was overjoyed, thinking I was pregnant. You see, my cycle was one you could literally set your clock to. I had never been late before…ever! So, I went to see my doctor, and she performed an internal ultrasound. Well, I wasnt pregnant. The verdict was like a slap in my face!
A few months later we decided to get tests done. My hormones were normal, so all we had to do was wait for my husbands test results, which we got about 3 weeks later. Alas, it was revealed that his count was very low. Our doctor then referred to us to a popular fertility clinic in Victoria Island, upon which we were told that, considering how low my husband’s count was, we had to undergo IVF in order to get pregnant…and that no other way would work. That was in October 2010, a day after our first anniversary, and a few months shy of our 2nd year of trying for a baby.
At this point, we had done every test imaginable, and everything else was fine. My husband and I had a long long talk, and we agreed that, rather than keep running round in circles, and drinking the endless supply of herbal tea from our extended family, it might be worth it to give it a go. Luckily, we had some money saved, so money was not going to be a problem.
And so, we began the process. I underwent all the required examinations, and was declared fit and healthy! My hysteroscopy showed an almost text book uterus, so we were cleared to commence treatment.
Once we got the go-ahead, and had made the initial payment, I was consumed by a deep fear of the entire process…how invasive it would likely be, and whether or not it would work! My dear friend, Nicole, had just suffered a failed cycle, and I was scared out of my mind of going through the same thing!
Before I go any further, I think I should tell you a little more about myself. I am the 6th of 8 children, so fertility wasn’t an issue for my parents…or any of my siblings for that matter. In my family, it was a case of how soon you got pregnant, and not if you did. That was taken as a given! So, my situation was something rather too hard for them to swallow. And because of the somewhat unpleasant history my family has with my husband, I chose to protect him and didn’t disclose the fact that our problem was male factor related.
I suppose I have to go into more detail about my complex family situation. You see, my folks were not too excited about the fact that I was dating an Itsekiri man. Considering we were all part of the same Bendel state until 1991, I just couldn’t understand their animosity. My confusion was compounded when my sister’s Calabar fiancé was received with open arms, so it was obviously not a general tribalism thing. I was later to find out that my father had suffered greatly when he grew up in Warri, so had grown to loathe them with a passion, a hatred imbibed also by my Mother and older siblings. So, from the very minute Toju started coming to visit, he was met with fierce hostility. When we got engaged, my parents hit the roof, and I was advised to end the relationship, or face the consequences. But there was no way I was going to let the love of my life go…and thankfully, he felt the same way. That’s why we started trying for a baby, as we thought if I was pregnant, there was no way my father would continue to oppose our union.
Well…I didn’t get pregnant, but God being God, somehow my Father had a miraculous change of heart on my 30th birthday, in June 2009. He sat me down in his room, called my name three times, and asked if I was indeed serious about marrying ‘that Waffi boy’. I tearfully told him that I was, and that he was the only man for me. Reluctantly, the man gave us his blessing, and we proceeded to get married. But there was still an underlying hostility, so letting them know that this Waffi boy was also shooting blanks, would have been the biggest mistake ever!
So, you can see why we opted for IVF almost as soon as we got our diagnosis. There was no need wasting any more time…