Pregnant mamas are a special breed. They can do almost anything and get away with it…because all anyone needs to do is look at their bump and decide, “The pregnancy is the reason.”
My aunt came to spend some time with my mom and as it has become something of a family tradition, we had a family reunion of some sort, with some of my cousins coming with their kids and all. It was a full house, whenever we were all at home.
One of my brothers-in-law showed up on one of those days, with roasted corn and pear. Let’s just say, even before he stepped foot in the door, one of my cousins, who is barely in her second trimester, was sniffing the air and saying she could smell corn…and wanted some.
Truth be told, all the women on my mother’s side of the family look forward to the months when corn is in season to indulge.
Following her nose, she bumped into my brother-in-law just as he stepped in, and ran outside with her loot, already sinking her teeth into the corn cob. Some of us gave chase and got some off her, but she absolutely refused to share the pear, which is fair enough. Everyone knew her soft spot for that fruit, even before she got pregnant.
After eating her fill, she walked back into the house, with a silly but content grin on her face. My aunt and mom looked at her weirdly #sideeyes, and switched to our local dialect that was code for, weh done ma, and asked her if she wanted a drink to wash it down.
I must have looked like I was going to give birth on the side of the road, towards the end of my third trimester back then, because the next minute, I saw a car pull close to me and someone called my name.
It was my Pastor, and he was offering me a ride, but I was just yards away from my hospital, where I was going for yet another scan. I refused, because I was mentally calculating how I was going to pack myself and bump into his SUV, only to come out, minutes later.
I said, “Pastor, don’t worry. I’m almost at the hospital.”
“But you look tired eh.”
I just said the same thing and continued my waddling. If only Pastor knew what I was thinking.
That time, I think, I went to church mostly because of the children, to avoid their questions about why we didn’t go to church, because I can’t remember a single thing from the sermon afterwards, except that I sat by the windows, fanning myself endlessly, people looking awkwardly in my direction and saying plenty “Sorry oh, Iya beji”. It was all a blur really.
Sometimes, a pregnant woman’s mind often can be focused on solving one issue, while everyone else might be thinking of something else. So, when she opens the refrigerator door, just so she can cool down, or gathers a selection of condiments to assuage her cravings, or even decides to sweep in the dead of the night, the weird looks will almost surely follow. It’s a case of who does that?
A pregnant woman obviously.
And here are some more ways, you will definitely get the weird look asking, “Is she okay?” “Is this how she behaves when she’s pregnant?” or “Are you sure, it’s only the pregnancy that’s causing all this drama?”
Here we go:
You’re sleeping everywhere
I’m sure you have seen movies where a parent discovers their daughter is pregnant, because she keeps sleeping, especially in the afternoons.
It doesn’t happen only in movies oh! Pregnant women tend to sleep a lot, make that cat naps, thanks to the hard work that their body is doing. It can be exhausting growing a human being, even when it’s just a tiny part of you.
A working pregnant woman can sometimes not help taking a nap at work, or even sleeping first upon getting home, before thinking of what to make for dinner. If she has been making dinner regularly before, her husband can start to wonder who infected his wife with the sleeping bug, but as the weeks go by, he will understand.
And it will grow worse somewhat, as a time will come when it may be hard to sleep through the night, courtesy of all the trips to the bathroom, and then when the baby decides to play football at the most inopportune time.
Now, you see, a nap comes in handy a lot, but not many people understand the need.
Bottom line; prepare for the weird looks.
You’re obsessed with baby and baby things
No one can coo over baby things like a pregnant woman can. It comes naturally. You mostly likely have an app that you check like 250 times a day, to see how many weeks and how big baby is, what body parts have developed and if the baby’s gender discernable yet.
You see a child, and you have tears in your eyes imagining how your baby would look like in a few months or years’ time.
You spend your sleepless night browsing and crying over itsy bitsy piece of clothes, and always losing the battle to buy one more.
Pray tell, if you were to meet yourself, wouldn’t you think yourself weird?
And this preoccupation with baby almost always happens, regardless of what your pre-pregnancy life was.
You’re having too many toilet breaks
Imagine running back and forth to the bathroom. Knowing all the closest bathrooms in the mall you frequent. All of these activities, even after you avoid drinking too much water, will still make you end up spending time in bathrooms.
By the time your colleagues see you going back and forth, or even the toilet attendants see you perambulating, the weird looks will surely start.
You’re hot when everyone else is cold
I could write a memoir on the heat-wave of pregnancy. Jeez!!! It doesn’t matter if it was raining cats and dogs, I would still be feeling hot. I guess it was because the heat was from the inside, and nothing on the outside was able to quench it.
I got lots of weird looks for my billowing spaghetti strapped gown that I favoured while at home, in all weathers. Sometimes I stood outside the gate of my house late in the night, because I needed fresh air. I don’t think the looks I got could have been any weirder.
Food smells weird
All your favourite foods taste like poison. A delicacy which someone is about to enjoy, which even you would have indulged in, in times past, suddenly turns your stomach and you’re retching.
That action alone can spoil the food for the person who wants to eat. Surely, you will be getting the weird look.
If I was the one, that would be the last time we would be eating together, until the hormone gods reset your sense of smell and taste buds.
These are just a few moments when people give you the weird look for some of the weird things you do as a pregnant woman.
But don’t pay any attention mama! If they were in your shoes too, they would understand what the hassle is all about.
Since, they are not…it doesn’t matter.
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