If you’re anything like me, and every other mom I know, you wonder if you’re screwing up this whole parenting thing on a daily basis. I end pretty much every day going over every decision I made, every word I said and every reaction I had. I go to sleep thinking ‘today was a win’ or ‘well, there’s always tomorrow.’
But, I actually know for a fact that you’re a good mom. Wondering how I can possibly know that without knowing you? I have proof. Here are 10 things you do that prove you’re doing alright.
1. You drag yourself out of bed every day.
I’m sure there are days when that is just about the last thing you want to do. The world outside is demanding your time and attention and energy. Whether you’re home full time with your children or have to actually get dressed and look and sound like you have it all together, facing the day is a challenge. Just getting out of bed is a win. You’re doing a great job.
2. You feed your child.
I don’t care if it’s processed food or grown organically in your backyard. If you remember that your child needs food throughout the day, you need to give yourself some credit. How often do moms of babies forget to feed themselves? Often.
3. You go with your gut.
Everyone and their grandmother has an opinion on every single thing you do when you’re a parent. It’s hard to decide what the right thing to do is when you have this blog and that book and this mom and that expert and this scientific finding and that person’s anecdotal proof of what the right choice actually is. At the end of the day, you end up making a call, and you make that call based on your own gut, because you’re their mommy.
4. You vent to people.
This parenting thing is hard. Kids don’t do the whole appreciation thing so well and parenting young kids is a pretty thankless job. That’s why you seek out friends you can complain to, to bounce ideas off of, to seek advice from and to just commiserate with. You find ways to let out your frustration and don’t keep it all to yourself all the time, because you know that at the end of the day, you’re not alone in this stage of your life.
5. You read blogs like these.
At the end of the day, you’re like the rest of us moms, just trying to do the best we can, and seeking someone who can tell you you’re not screwing it all up. You’re not living in some bubble where you think you got this whole thing knocked. You know you don’t. None of us do. We’re all just doing the best we can and hoping we all come out alive. Because even though you know you’re not perfect, you care enough to want to be as close as possible.
6. You Google search rashes and symptoms.
You know you’ve done it. We’ve all done it against our better judgement. But you do it because you can’t get to a doctor in the next 30 seconds and you’re scared now and everyone on Facebook will tell you to rush to the ER. So you reach out to Dr. Google.
7. You overthink most things.
Is the lunch lady going to judge my kid’s lunch? Is it well rounded enough? Is he cranky because he’s tired? Is his bedtime at the right time? Why was he so grumpy today? Is there something he doesn’t want to tell me about? Is this a trend? A stage? Should I do something? Should I let him figure it out? We all do it. The fact we do is proof we’re good parents. We just want to cover all of our bases and do this right.
8. You care about what people think.
Part of the overthinking everything is worrying about what other people think. We don’t want to do it. We swear we don’t care. But deep down, no matter how much we try to push other people’s opinions out of our heads, every once in a while, try as we may, we let their voices burrow into our psyches and wonder if maybe, just maybe, they might know something we don’t. Some of us do it more than others, but we’re all guilty of caring just a little bit too much sometimes. It’s because we want to do the best we can for our kids, and some parents seem to be more confident in certain aspects of parenthood than we are (spoiler alert: they’re faking, just like we are!). You’re a good mom and want to be as confident in everything as those moms seem to be.
9. You have conceded, on a number of occasions, that you messed up.
Try as we may, we’re going to screw up. We are going to give in when we shouldn’t or be angrier than we should or do or say something we wish we could take back. It’s not that you didn’t get it right the first time that matters. It’s the fact that you want to do better.
10. You care if you’re a good mother. A wise woman once said to me, “You’re a good mother. Bad parents don’t ask themselves if they’re doing it wrong. Bad parents don’t care.” Amen.