Tayo’s Infertility Diary 12: Peak

April 30th, 2008

The night I saw Solape, I had actually slept like a baby when I got home. After the evening’s physical and emotional exhaustion, it was hardly a surprise.

What also wasn’t a surprise was the text message from her, the next morning.

I hope one day you’ll understand why I did what I did. I leave for Lagos with my Mom tomorrow night. Please call…

So she was being shipped back to Nigeria! Apparently, Mama Solape wasn’t feeling the Ugo vibe either.

I decided that the last thing I needed was a piece of her drama, so I had pressed the Delete button. I had my own wahala, abeg!

For the rest of yesterday, I was just on autopilot…autopilot on the train to work, autopilot at work, autopilot on the journey back home, autopilot at home. All I needed was for the day to quickly end, so that Wednesday would come.

And it’s finally here!!! By the time I get back home from work, my man will be there waiting for me! After hearing about Solape’s convoluted life, I can’t help but be grateful for my own stable, drama-free life, with a man who loves me.

 

May 1st, 2008

CD10

My man is back home!!! YAY!!!

We BD’d tonight, but mainly for fun, as I was still getting a low reading on the CBFM. But this morning, I finally got a high!!! So, I have 4 days to get a PEAK before Javier goes away again! Pleeeeeeeeesssssssssseeeeeeeee eggy hurry up!!!

 

May 2nd, 2008

CD11

Okay, I have only 2 more mornings before Javier has to go away, and I’m still getting a high on the CBFM!!! I desperately need that peak!

This is no longer funny!

 

May 3rd, 2008

CD12

Still no peak, and we only have till tomorrow!

I got in a mood last night for no reason! Well, not quite no reason. I was feeling blue because I will be by myself from tomorrow, until Friday evening. That’s even longer than the last trip. So, we ended up arguing about my mood, and eventually falling asleep, with no BD!

I woke up this morning really blaming myself for having missed out on another crucial opportunity, but thankfully, we made up for it this morning!

On the non-TTC front, as I was enjoying my Saturday afternoon, sitting in my garden and sipping on iced tea, my friend, Anike, walked in to join me. Javier had apparently let her in. I was so glad to see her!

After our usual pleasantries (if you can use the word ‘pleasantries’ for screaming and shouting), I poured her a glass, and we sat, catching up on our lives. I hadn’t seen her since March, when we had met up for drinks.

I saw her steal a glance at my stomach. “I actually thought you were pregnant, especially as you didn’t have alcohol the last time she saw”.

I smiled. Because it was Anike, I knew not to take any offence.

“Speaking of pregnant….I heard about that your friend oh!” she exclaimed.

Ah yes. Solape. I knew it was only a matter of time before her gist started circulating amongst the Naija crowd…with plenty help from Bukky’s Yoru-London crew. As Anike downloaded everything she had heard, it was clear that hardly any details had been spared. I could see the “I told you so” look on Anike’s face, but I chose to ignore it. You see, my childhood friends, Anike and Busola, had never quite clicked with Solape. They thought she was fake, and always seemed to hear phantom tales of her promiscuity. Well, at least I thought they were phantom tales. But they were probably true all along. I had thought she was being judged because of her sister’s wild lifestyle. But now, I realized that she and her sister, Bukky, were probably two sides of the same leaf.

Because I felt I had wasted enough time on Solape’s matter, we quickly changed the subject. Anike, who was also juggling more than a few men herself (in her words, because she wanted to keep her options open), was finally thinking of choosing one of them to get serious with. With her 32nd birthday fast approaching, she was finally realizing it would be probably be the best option.

It felt good to have a drama-free day with a drama-free friend. And it also helped take my mind off the fact that I still hadn’t gotten a peak on my CBFM…

 

May 4th, 2008

CD13

Well…no such luck! I still haven’t gotten a peak, and Javier leaves in an hour. We had sex twice yesterday, so unless I get a peak tomorrow, and the sperm can last, I’m out for this cycle!

I am so depressed. It has been almost 3 months since the miscarriage, and almost as long until I turn 32. I have done everything I could possibly have done the past couple of cycles…but I am so scared of the possibility of this taking longer than I want.

I’m not sure I could bear that…

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For the Newbies

BD = Baby Dance (have sex)

CD = Cycle Day

CBFM = Clear Blue Fertility Monitor

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