August 11th, 2008
OMG! Javier won’t have sex with me in case he ‘disturbs the implantation’. Those were actually his exact words! And what’s worse is he thinks he caused my miscarriage earlier in the year, because he was reading Zita West over my shoulder, and saw something about not having sex in the early stages (I think they were talking about people with recurring miscarriages and IVF!). I’ve explained that he did not cause it, and he is a very intelligent person, so I can’t believe that this is what he thinks. My poor boo! I had to spend the whole day convincing him.
This cycle is already proving to be quite the roller coaster. One minute, I am positive, and the next I’m like ‘Get real, it’s not happening’. I’ve got slight cramps and lower backache, which is a bit early for AF. My cervix feels weird, medium height and texture different, and I cannot feel the top for the opening (I am a leftie, so it’s difficult anyway). I also have sticky CM, which, according to past charts, I usually get today anyway, and then tomorrow I might start sp@**1ng (I can’t even bring myself to type the word)!!! So I suppose I’ll know tomorrow if I’m still in the game!
Anyway, Javier and I went to see Mama Mia this evening, and we totally loved it! It’s amazing what singing a little ABBA can do for one’s spirits!
August 12th, 2008
So right on cue, the spotting starts! I’m quite upset, I have to be honest. I also have very severe backache. I really tried to be positive this cycle. But ah well! I guess I better focus my energy on planning for Vegas.
I called Javier to tell him about it, and he told me he had a surprise present for me, to cheer me up. I don’t know why I got my hopes up, thinking that it would be a puppy or a kitten, or something like that. I was quite disappointed that it wasn’t, but was instead a Guitar Hero 3 for the Wii. I am such an ungrateful cow, because he obviously thought it would be fun, and a sort of hobby for me. He also got me a lovely card, and two beautiful journals. I can’t blame him for not figuring out that what I would have really loved would have been an animal to actually pour some love to!
I have red when I wipe, so it’s definitely over this cycle. I am quite emotional, so that means the PMS is kicking in. I feel very angry and just want to hide in a corner and scream!!!
August 13th, 2008
It just occurred to me that I have only a few more weeks, before I start the new job on the 8th of September. So my extra looooong holiday is fast approaching an end. I better enjoy what’s left of my summer!
We also have less than a week before leaving for Vegas, and still haven’t decided if we’ll be doing Atlanta or not. Javier is fine either way, so I reckon I’m the one dragging my feet. I suppose I’m not in the mood for all those Naija mamas asking me ‘how far?’. Yes, I haven’t been married a year, but I trust my Naija crew.
Anyways, I went swimming this morning so all the popcorn and sweets I ate at the cinema has hopefully been burnt out with exercise…hopefully!
As for AF, well just the usual really – spotting. Some lower back ache.
I volunteered to participate in a CBFM Study. I have been using the darned, unnecessarily, expensive thing for months, but with no result. So, I decided to help some people interested in investigating it further, whilst being paid for my efforts along the way. Nothing bad in that! Anyways, my study kit arrived this morning, so I was very excited looking at all the little bottles I have to fill with pee. I even get a jug that I pee into first! The best bit is that on CD1, and one day between CD10-14, I have to POAS, with a HPT that they have provided to check I am definitely not preggo before I start the trial. I haven’t POAS since I-don’t-know-when, because of this spotting! So even though I am not, I get to cure my craving!
The strange things that rock one’s boat in this TTC business shaaa!
I can’t make up my mind whether to go the doctors, and insist on a CD2/3 blood test, the only problem is I start crying whenever I go the doctors. It’s so embarrassing! I normally say about two words, and can’t go on!! Javier says it is because I bottle it up, and let it out to a stranger? He just might be right!
I’m hoping that full flow starts on Saturday, so that I’ll know I am clockwork and have a 29-day cycle. We shall see, I guess!
AF = Aunt Flo
CBFM = Clear Blue Fertility Monitor
CD = Cycle Day
CM = Cervical Mucuous
HPT = Home Pregnancy Test
POAS = Pee On A Stick