From all that I have come to know at this stage in my life, pregnancy is beautiful. It’s an awesome experience that I have been favoured to go through. The perfect description for me is, pregnancy is a huge deal. Ladies, you are practically growing a human being in your body, but is there anything like a perfect pregnancy?
You know, that pregnancy filled with rosy cheeks, the legendary pregnancy glow, fuller head of hair, no unusual cravings, no gymnastics that leave you staring at the ceiling, night after night, none of those, just plain smooth sailing. I couldn’t honestly tick all of those items off my list, so I decided to talk to some mommas about it.
When I asked Rolly, a mom of one, if her expectations of pregnancy matched the reality, she was all over me, ticking off the different areas that her mama had “lied” about pregnancy being easy. She practically accused all moms of being guilt of the conceit, just to encourage young ladies to getting pregnant.
According to Rolly, being pregnant was the toughest test of her life. Before she got pregnant, her life was “perfect,” (that was her word, not mine). “After having to deal with so much emotional turmoil from growing up, and being blessed with a great husband, who took me as I was; a career path, that was eventually blossoming, my life was where it should be, where I had worked hard for it to be.
And I was as mentally, physically, and practically prepared as I could ever be to become a mommy. So, of course my pregnancy would be perfect, right?
No! As it turned out, that fantasy was a far cry from what really went down. I was so sick I could barely work, which really shook me to my core. I once called my mom in tears, asking her, if all her pleas for me to have a baby, was for me to go through this experience that was draining.
She had laughed at me and told me, it will get better with time. I wasn’t satisfied with her answer and even less so with her mirth. She made it up within the hour, as she showed up with some pepper soup for me.
For most of that pregnancy, I was nauseous, constipated and fatigued and suffered so many other things. All these physical symptoms took a serious toll on my psyche. There were days I spent crying in bed, in part because I couldn’t stand the way I felt physically, but also because I knew I was being ungrateful, as they were people, who wanted what I had but couldn’t have it yet. I was a mess, as my emotions were all over the place.
I did not want to complain, but I couldn’t help myself. My sister, growing a child is arguably life’s greatest gift, but it is definitely not a picnic.”
In the case of Desola, it was smooth sailing for the first trimester, she was gorging on cakes and sweets, that was her craving. Asides her acute sense of smell, all was well during the first three months.
You know, they always say, it gets better as the months go by, in Desola’s case, it was the reverse, it did not get better, rather, she started to feel bloated and that was when her own queasiness started. She felt nauseous almost all the time. Her smell sense grew even more, if that was possible. She was sensitive to most things; perfumes, soups, cereals, even fruits sent her to the bathroom.
Rather than glowing, she grew pale and even started to look gaunt, because she wasn’t able to keep much down, due to her acute sense of smell.
Her words: “At a stage in the pregnancy, I couldn’t get off the bed easily, and I couldn’t walk around for long. My husband laughed each time he saw me try to get off the bed, but that just made me angry. My entire body ached. I was also breathless most of the time, and that scared me. I went to the hospital because of that oh.
Let’s talk about my pimples. For most of the first trimester, my faced cleared considerably and I thought, I was finally enjoying the benefits of being pregnant with this fine face, little did I know, it was going to come back with a vengeance. My skin felt like an oil factory and my face was lumpy. I didn’t feel pretty at all.
At a stage, my acne went from mild to wild in a week. My face was covered with acne, and so was my back.
Towards the end, food became luxury, not because I did not want to eat but because I had no space left to fill. I felt tired and breathless, and just wanted the baby out of me! But I was still happy!”
As for Laura, a first time mom, in her last trimester, “I feel like what is going on inside of me is way different from my regular day. My work suffered a lot during my first and second trimester, I’m just starting to achieve a rhythm, but then I will soon be going on my maternity leave.
I had serious difficulty focusing in formal work meetings, where I was supposed to be in charge or worse, when I had to do a presentation. I remember one time, when I was doing a presentation and my baby was having hiccoughs inside me. For a while, everything inside me, just tuned in to what the baby was doing and I completely forgot my presentation. Someone called my name and every one saw that I had to drag myself from my baby’s activities to the presentation I was making. It was as though, I was in two separate worlds.”
Was her pregnancy perfect? She said, “A perfect pregnancy is a myth, there will always be good and bad days, but we will push through, because the babies make everything worth it.”
Just in case, you didn’t get it, Loretta just told you, she’s having twins.
It’s different strokes for different moms, where pregnancy is concerned, no two moms have same experience, in fact, no two pregnancies of a single mom is the same.
So, whatever your pregnancy brings, embrace it and move on.
Oluwakemi is a member of The Fertile Chick family, and she is a writer, dreamer and mother of two sets of twins. She is passionate about issues that concern women, and does not shy away from airing her views. And words are her weapon of choice! She is reachable on her handle @oluwakemine
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