December 2nd, 2012
All through the drive to Festac, I imagined all of the possible reactions my Mom would have to the news of Phillip’s fiancée’s pregnancy. My Mother’s range of emotions were as wide and diverse as you could imagine. From unrestrained shouting (this was the emotion we saw the most when we were growing up. Everywhere in Festac, she was known as a no-nonsence woman, a reputation she wore with pride), to inconsolable weeping (the emotion when my younger sister passed away in 2002, when my Dad followed in 2005, and when she caught me kissing our neighbor in our garage), to stern admonishment (a more recent emotion, which we began seeing after she started attending her current Church, and became more religious). Honestly, I had no idea what to expect. As we approached the Festac gate, I was so resentful of my brother, for roping me into this madness. There was no logical reason why he couldn’t have married Akunna years ago. He has an enviable job with one of the major International Oil Companies (IOCs), and could well afford to have married his longtime girlfriend, well, a long time ago. But no oh…he just had to wait until yawa had gassed!
Soon, we were driving into our compound, and I braced myself for the conversation that would follow! Jesus, take the wheel…I mumbled to myself.
About an hour later, I think all of us were wishing Jesus would truly come take the wheel, because I don’t think anyone could quite understand what was happening. The news had been broken to my Mom, and she was just seeing her… sitting and nodding. I had thrown in my own words of support for my brother, but she had just sat there…quiet and cracking her knuckles. This was the same lackadaisical response she had given me when I had informed her of our pregnancy. “That means we have to set the date quickly!” was all we were able to get from her. Na wa oh! I think I prefer my shouting / crying Mom. But the important thing is that it is over. She knows about the pregnancy, and my job was officially done. I beckoned to Patrick to take me home.
As I was walking out of the room, My Mom grabbed my hand, and squeezed it. With that single action, all our previous beef was dissolved. I knew that, even though she was struggling with committing emotionally to a baby that could, or couldn’t, survive, she still loved me plenty…and, for now, that was enough for me.
I noticed Akunna trying to catch my attention, as I got into the car, but I acted like I hadn’t. I had tried for them…abeg!
December 3rd, 2012
Here at work, my pregnancy spaced-out feeling is doing its best to make my life hell. I’ve been carrying on like everything is fine with me, but there is so much to read online!!! The general stuff is fine to read, but when I come across pictures of women giving birth, I am filled with a genuine fear. Lawd have mercy!
December 4th, 2012
Today wasn’t a good day at all! It must have been a mix of feeling exhausted and stressed. The pregnancy hormones have been racing around my body, making me feel really awful!
When I got home, after work, all I felt like doing was having a big cry. These last few cycles, I have worried about being a good mum, if I’d feel as bad as this all through my pregnancy, and how I’d cope with actually giving birth all at once! It’s incredibly scary!!!
That evening, Phillip stopped by my house, on his way back to his house on the mainland, and to dodge the Lekki traffic (or so he said). He came bearing gifts (2 boxes of cupcakes) so all was surely well with us.
“Any reaction from Mom after I left?” I inquired, to which he shook his head. Apparently, she had been that way since she had heard the news yesterday. But I knew she would soon get over it.
If only I could say the same thing about my brother, who looked like he was carrying the whole world.
“I only asked Akunna to marry me because of the baby” he blurted. “I don’t want to marry that girl.”
My mouth dropped to the ground, and I stared at him in disbelief. Apparently, he had tried to break up with her, starting from about 6 years before, and a few times after that. But Akunna had held on tight, an absolutely refused to condone any breakup gist. And then it struck me.
“ Do you think she…” I stammered in sheer disbelief, to which Phillip nodded gravely. He too was of the opinion that his longtime girlfriend, Akunna had gotten pregnant on purpose.
It all made sense to me now! Was it possible that we had been tricked?