Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 3: The Struggle

November 29th, 2012

The last few days have been a struggle…a real struggle. Since my last entry in this journal, my body has taken on a mind of its own. I am permanently exhausted; I wake up tired and I go to bed tired. My nausea has been on another level, and even the dry bread I have been eating is no longer going down a treat. And with all this, I have still been dragging myself to work everyday, which hasn’t made matters any better at all.

Work has been another story, as I have tried to carry on as normal. It is too early to share our news, but at this rate, they might find me out sooner than later. Everyone keeps telling me how pale I look, and keep asking if I am ill. I have started running out of my “malaria”, “food poisoning”, and “migraine” excuses, so I might have to tell my boss soon. I just hope she’s happy about the news.

It has been a struggle in itself living my life, so seeing the numerous missed calls from Akunna, and even recently, my brother Phillip, just serve to annoy me even more! Please, let everybody face their own battle abeg! I wasn’t there with them when they were making their baby, so why they think it is my responsibility to break the news to our Mom is beyond me. Speaking of my Mom, we haven’t spoken since Sunday’s disastrous visit. To her credit, she has been bombarding me with text messages daily, packed with prayers and Bible verses. I haven’t replied any. All of them should just leave me alone!

My dear husband, Patrick, has not been spared either. He has been the worst recipient of the venom from my worsening foul mood. But he has taken it all in good spirits. He has even given up smoking, so that’s another Brownie point for him. Yes, this would be the 100th time he has tried to give up, but I think he has more motivation now.

The good news is that I hit the 7 week mark yesterday (yay!), so that’s one step closer to our rainbow baby. It’s still 2 weeks earlier than we had the miscarriage last time, so my heart is still understandably in my mouth…but I’m hopeful…very hopeful.

 

December 1st, 2012

There are some things I don’t joke with…and Saturday morning is one of them. Even before I got pregnant, I used to d-r-e-a-m about my Saturday morning sleep all week long. And this week especially, I dreamt of catching up on some much desired sleep, all week long. So, you can now probably understand why I was mad as heck when Patrick awoke me at 7.30am, to tell me that my brother and his fiancée were in the living room. Where they friggin kidding me?!!!

I walked into the living room a disheveled mess, and with the mother-of-all frowns on my face. Apart from the fact that they had disrupted my much desired sleep, I couldn’t but resent Akunna’s sudden interest in me, now that she needed something. In the 2 years since I had been married, she had never graced my home with her presence…not even once. In fact, when I was getting married, she had been as detached and uninterested as any random guest. Of course, I hadn’t expected any more from her, considering our frosty relationship…but seeing her in my house this morning, was rubbing me the wrong way.

“I’m so sorry we woke you…” she began in this new whiny voice of hers…a far cry from her normal arrogant husk.

“What do you want?” I asked, my question directed at my brother, Phillip.

“Akunna said you two have already discussed…” my brother said feebly. I couldn’t help but clap my hands in wonder. Even he too had eaten humble pie!

“So you mean you can not tell your Mother that your girlfriend…or rather, fiancée, is pregnant?! What are you, 5 years old??!” I exclaimed, with the last shred of my patience long gone. “Is that why you both have been harassing me all week?! Do I look like I don’t have issues of my own??!”

“You know what she’s like…” Phillip responded. I could tell he wasn’t enjoying the fact that he was at my mercy, for whatever reason they had decided to be.

“Phillip…you are a grown man! You had 10 years to make an honest woman out of Akunna, but you chose to wait until you had impregnated her. And now, you want to drag me into your mess?!” I had had enough at this point, and rose to my feet “I’m really really happy for you guys…but unfortunately, I can’t help. Congrats to you both!”

As I walked out of the room, I overheard Patrick talking with them, and I just KNEW that husband of mine would rope me into their nonsense! The man I married was too much of an oversabi goody two-shoes for his own good! How would it be in my best interest to expose myself to that kind of stress….ehn?! How??!

Imagine my shock when I awoke, and saw that Akunna was still in my living room. I looked at the clock. 12.33pm, and she was still here? Since 7.30am?! Ah, this girl meant business! Phillip had obviously left her there to finish the job.

This time, I was forced to sit with her, and hear her out. She was already 11 weeks gone, and had very little time to plan a wedding before her bump became visible. She lamented her slip up after 10 years of being careful, and actually cried when she admitted how frightened she was of my mother’s reaction to their news. As she spoke, I allowed my eyes roam to her mid section, and I could see that she was right oh! I could definitely see something like a bump already forming.

Reluctantly, I agreed to go with them to Festac the next day. The last thing I wanted was to be anywhere near that house only a week after my Mom’s awful reaction to our news.

But ah well…it’s too late to get out of it now…

 

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