Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 112: Baby Mama

June 11th, 2013

After all my anticipation about starting my maternity leave, I find myself bored out of my mind, on only day 2!!!

Yesterday, the first official day, was a blast! I slept so soundly and deeply that I didn’t even hear Patrick leave for work. My eyes didn’t open till it was almost 10am, after which I simply stretched, and changed position for round 2. Not that it was easy changing position, as the size of my stomach has limited my sleeping options. But I managed! When it was noon, I pattered to the kitchen, made a harried jam sandwich, stashed a tray full of biscuits and snacks, so I wouldn’t have to come out again, went back to my bedroom, and settled in to a day of guilt free TV indulgence! And I was in that exact position when Patrick got home, at about 6.30pm, still in the same nightgown I’d been wearing since the night before. He didn’t say anything, but I felt like a slob…and it wasn’t a good feeling.

Today, I decided to have a shower before starting with TV, so as soon as I woke up at about 9am, I had a bath, made myself breakfast, and retired to my bedroom to watch TV. But a few episodes into Downton Abbey, I found myself getting…bored. I found myself sick and tired of looking at a TV screen, and suddenly desperate for some proper discussion. I grabbed my phone to call Ebika, but she didn’t answer her phone. At 1pm, that was hardly surprising, considering she was at work. I called Ejiro, but she didn’t answer either, and Nwando’s phone kept ringing busy. I finally had no choice but to call my new friend from antenatal class, Ose, who sounded only too happy to hear from me. She offered to come by for a visit, but I decided to be the one to go over to her place. I desperately needed to leave the house.

So, I drove out on to the express, and headed to Ikate Elegushi, where Ose lives. The address led me to a nice terrace house in a mini-estate. As I parked my car, Ose waddled out to receive me, and it felt good to see another woman in my condition.

Getting inside, I was too happy to be offered peppered goat meat and spicy jollof rice, made only the way a pregnant woman would like…extra spicy! To say I enjoyed the meal would be an understatement.

As we chatted and got to know each other better, I wasn’t surprised to hear she already has 3 kids, especially as their pictures were all over the house. But what surprised me was when she said she wasn’t married to their father.

“He already has a wife!” was her giggly response.

My eyes bulged from their sockets, and I suddenly found myself uncomfortable. Eeehn?! My bump buddy is a baby mama?!

“M..married?” I repeated.

She shrugged nonchalantly. “We’ve been together about 8 years!”

“Does his wife know about you?” I found myself asking.

“Of course she does!” was this woman’s giggly response. “Everyone knows about me. In fact, to his family, I’m the main wife! After all, I’m the one who’s given him kids!”

The realization of what she was saying hit me like a ton of bricks. As a former TTC woman, my heart broke for the woman whose marriage had been torn apart.

“Don’t look so shocked!” she giggled some more. “These things happen.”

 

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“So now you are carrying his 4th child..” I remarked, feeling the heat rising inside of me. “Why is he still with his wife, if you have given him so many kids?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Pity, I guess.”

“Do you think he’s ever going to leave her?” I asked, knowing exactly where I was going with this.

“Of course he will! He has no choice! I’m sure when I have baby number 5, he’ll come to me!” she giggled.

I took a final sip of my drink and set the cup down. “Ose, you are a big fool! He is still with his wife because he loves her!” I rose to my feet. “You can keep spreading your legs until you get 10 children, but if he didn’t leave his wife after the 1st, or even 2nd, child, he’s never ever going to. So good luck being a baby mama! Unfortunately, we don’t have as much in common as I thought, so I’m afraid I have to leave now. Thanks for the lovely meal!”

Her mouth was open in shock, as I made my way out of the house and to my car. Driving off, I wondered if I was being hypocritical. After all, there is my close friend, Ebika, as the side piece, and soon-to-be-second-wife of a married man. But as I drove, I realized I felt more strongly about Ose’s case simply because the woman she is hurting is a woman who is hurting already. For two years, I knew what it felt like to weep every month a red stained underwear would let me know that my dreams had been dashed once again. I knew the heartbreak and despair that came with wondering if it would ever happen for me…if I would ever be a mother! If I felt that way, even with a loving and faithful husband, how would I have felt if he had decided to stray, and have not just a couple, but FOUR kids with another woman?! That’s pretty much building another family! It would have killed me, and I knew, without a doubt, it was probably killing the wife of Ose’s baby daddy. I felt such disgust for my new ‘friend’, and wondered what kind of heart a woman would have to have to do that kind of thing to another woman. I guess, to her, having the comfort of a nice house and designer bags outweighed all that is decent and rational.

Getting home, I settled to continue watching my Downton Abbey jeje!

Before someone else comes to put me in trouble in this Lagos!

 

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Photo Credit

  1. http://www.clipartkid.com

 

Catch up on Faith’s Pregnancy Diary here:

  1. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 1: BFP
  2. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 2: Lukewarm Response
  3. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 3: The Struggle
  4. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 4: Tricked
  5. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 5: Keeping Her Man
  6. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 6: Men are so Annoying!
  7. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 7: Bleeding
  8. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 8: The 9-Week Mark
  9. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 9: Festive
  10. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 10: The Holiday
  11. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 11: This Thing Called Love
  12. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 12: The Pregnancy Glow
  13. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 13: The Baby & The Bobo
  14. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 14: Wahala
  15. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 15: The Abortion
  16. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 16: A Good Man
  17. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 17: Joy & Pain
  18. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 18: Hostage
  19. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 19: Ammunition
  20. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 21: Famzing
  21. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 22: Stress Relief
  22. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 23: Diana
  23. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 24: Bestos
  24. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 25: The Miscarriage
  25. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 26: In God’s Hands
  26. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 27: Crossing the line
  27. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 28: Last Minute Packing
  28. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 29: Ex-Girlfriend
  29. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 30: Not Just Friends
  30. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 31: Fight For Him
  31. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 32: Faded Beauty
  32. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 33: Holiday Glow
  33. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 34: The Proposals
  34. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 35: Baby Kicks
  35. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 36: Celebration Dinner
  36. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 37: Rainbow Baby
  37. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 38: Lunch with the Girls
  38. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 39: Wedding Season
  39. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 40: Mama Patrick
  40. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 41: Misplaced Love
  41. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 42: Okafor’s Law
  42. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 43: Forgiveness
  43. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 44: Get it over with
  44. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 45: Family Meeting
  45. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 46: The Goof
  46. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 47: Worship
  47. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 48: Gender
  48. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 49: The Introduction
  49. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 50: Messy
  50. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 51: Passionate Love
  51. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 52: Instagram Drama
  52. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 53: 21 Weeks
  53. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 54: Oppressed
  54. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 55: Age is just a number
  55. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 56: Legally Together
  56. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 57: Monkey on my back
  57. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 58: Your secret is safe with me
  58. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 59: Spring in my step
  59. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 60: Level don change
  60. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 61: It’s my time
  61. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 62: Drama & Baby Kicks
  62. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 63: Love, Joy, Fear
  63. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 64: Owerri
  64. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 65: Untouchable
  65. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 66: Foot Soldiers
  66. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 67: Dem Say, Dem Say
  67. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 68: The Side Chick & The Fiancé
  68. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 69: Dim-Witted Brother
  69. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 70: Day from hell
  70. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 71: A Cancelled Wedding & a Kept Woman
  71. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 72: From Bad to Worst!
  72. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 73: The Confrontation
  73. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 74: Away we go!
  74. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 75: Birthday Girl
  75. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 76: Caught Red-Handed
  76. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 77: Played by a Master Manipulator
  77. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 78: Showdown
  78. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 79: Sad Tears, Happy Tears
  79. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 80: Not the forever kind of love
  80. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 81: My Sacred Vow to you
  81. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 82: Facebook Likes
  82. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 83: Pregnancy Queue
  83. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 84: Braxton Hicks
  84. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 85: The Verdict
  85. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 86: Home Sweet Home
  86. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 87: The Bridal Shower
  87. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 88: The Scare
  88. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 89: Nwando’s Wedding
  89. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 90: Time To Face The Music
  90. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 91: The Witch Hunt
  91. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 92: Bump Envy
  92. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 93: This Evil Family
  93. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 94: Thankful
  94. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 95: People Watching
  95. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 96: New Beginnings
  96. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 97: Dispassionately
  97. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 98: Old Woman
  98. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 99: The Premonition
  99. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 100: The Girl is Fine!
  100. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 101: Three Weeks From Now
  101. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 102: Diana & Akunna
  102. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 103: Of Daughters and Honeymoons
  103. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 104: Practice Run
  104. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 105: Cold Revenge
  105. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 106: Absolutely Nothing
  106. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 107: Selfish
  107. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 108: Back and Forth
  108. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 109: Chief Mourner
  109. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 110: He Will Never Be Mine
  110. Faith’s Pregnancy Diary 111: The Showers

Comments

  1. Bos

    Sadly @faith many women TTCing are in this predicament, husbands stray and have a new family – I always say the day paternity tests are carried out many of those men will slump as these women will do all to get them their dream. May our men stick with us through it all, Amen.

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