Sometimes, you hear some TTC stories and you wonder just how much the human body and mind can take, before it goes into meltdown. Because that was what Sherry went into three years after that memorable day in her life, which saw her losing two babies at once, in totally two different circumstances.
It was the worst place that it could have happened. Sherry knew she hadn’t grieved her lost babies; she had buried it somewhere inside of her and had moved on with her life, travelling for her business, which was doing awesome. Whenever, her husband tried to talk to her about it, she had brushed it off, changed the subject, gotten angry, anything not to have to discuss this matter.
Her mom knew her standard bluffing method, so she just talked about the babies whether Sherry wanted to hear about it or not, and even before she could leave, her mom would have introduced another topic. For any other person, her losses were not subject of discussion. It was all about her husband and her business. If you were not talking about those things, then she wasn’t interested.
So for three years, she unknowingly went about with a balloon of grief, not knowing who was going to prick it and let the air out.
And then, it happened. She had a meltdown in a crowded international airport. She just noticed she was crying. She had no idea why. She tried to walk fast, but the faster she walked, the faster the tears fell. She frantically started searching for the restroom. By this time, people were turning to look at the crying woman. She eventually found the restroom, she rushed in and literally bawled, startling the people who were already there. She found a stall, locked herself in, and sat down to indulge in this pity party which had been three years coming.
It was while she was crying that she realised the trigger, and it caused her more tears. It was the anniversary of her loss and on the airplane, she had been seated close to twins, who were three years old, whom had taken a liking to her during the times, they were awake. The twins had touched her in ways that nothing else had, and then, her body had remembered the anniversary. It was too much for her emotions, there had to be a way out. And there came the tears.
Sherry had been an idealistic 25 year old bride; her life was as perfect as it could ever be. She was married to the love of her life, her bestest friend, she often called him. The icing on the cake was if she got pregnant on her wedding day with twins. Those were her specific prayers.
It did not happen on her wedding night, it took some months. Up to six months in fact; months filled with some worry for her. Her husband was not bothered at all. He was just enjoying himself.
But it happened. Sherry got pregnant and she was overjoyed. She danced like she won the lottery. She was all over her husband, planning and such for their baby (ies), asking him what he thought about this name and that name, if they should have their babies in Nigeria or abroad. What the children would look like. Sherry was so into that pregnancy, even though she had no idea what she carried. They were real to her, from the very first moment.
Just as she had wanted, they were twins. Unfortunately, Sherry’s pregnancy did not end on a good note. At her first antenatal clinic, she underwent a scan and it was discovered that she was carrying one ectopic pregnancy and the other embryo implanted in the uterus was just a sac, no gestational pole. Right there and then, she had fainted. The weight of the information being too much for her to bear. She’d been revived, and they were told they would have to evacuate, as a matter of urgency.
Sherry’s husband said he would talk to his wife, when she was in a good frame of mind. On their way home, she asked him what was the outcome of the scan, as she couldn’t remember what the doctor said, and he told her it was fine.
That was when it dawned on him that his wife, in that moment she had fainted, had lost her memory of the radiologist statement.
That night, Sherry suffered the worst pain she had ever felt in her life. Her husband rushed her to the hospital, where both foetuses were evacuated. When she was put on the table, the second time in less than 24 hours, she remembered the earlier diagnosis that had sent her into a shock.
Rather than cry, her heart was just heavy and her eyes dry. Her husband had tears at certain points during the surgery but he stayed strong for her sake. He promised her, they would make more babies, that they would have those twins someday soon. He promised heaven and earth to his love.
Where she got the strength, she had no idea, but she was the stronger one, consoling her husband and everyone else. Soon, the couple was left on their own. She healed fast, she moved on even faster. A business idea she had been toying with for some time, was what she gave her attention to.
Sherry started from scratch and in three years, she had built a business with decent clientele and a good reputation. It consumed her every day thoughts, from morning till night. The only other person that came close to getting her full attention was her husband. When she wasn’t working, she was enjoying her time with him.
When that meltdown at the airport happened, she had been travelling for her business. Interestingly, after that miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy, she never got pregnant again. But her melt down convinced her to try again; obviously her dreams of twins hadn’t yet died.
And a dream that refused to die is one that must be birthed.
Sherry has started TTC again, here is sending her loads of baby dust for the journey.
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