The most critical thing to note before embarking on an IVF cycle is that it is not fool proof. Nothing in life is guaranteed, least of all an IVF cycle. A lot of people go into it with unrealistic expectations, myself inclusive. You think that because there is/are definitely (a) fertilised egg(s), placed directly in your uterus, pregnancy is guaranteed. I hate to break it to you that this is wrong. Anything could happen. Whatever the suspected reason, from embryo quality, to uterine hospitality or hostility, to external factors, anything could render an IVF cycle failed.
For my 1st IVF cycle, I was that naïve. From the minute I paid for the cycle, I had already started baby fantasising. When the cycle started proper, I had started making plans for my July 2011 babies. Even before my embryo transfer, because I already knew I was transferring 3, I had already named my triplets. After my transfer, I immediately commissioned one of my friends travelling to the States to help me with my maternity wardrobe. Failure was absolutely not an option. Except, of course, that it was. That cycle failed. And I was crushed. I was better prepared for my 2nd cycle, and had a whatever-will-be-will-be attitude right from the very start. I believe that helped a great deal.
So, what to do after an IVF cycle fails? From experience, I will tell you the things that don’t really help much. Consolation from loved ones, even your spouse, might only just end up further frustrating you even further. They love you and are almost always as emotionally invested as you are, but they havenât had to deal with over a month of injections and emotions. So whilst a good family support system is important, it isn’t the most important thing you need. What you really need is a support group of a woman, or women, who also have experienced this failure, and can share with you, first hand, that it is not the end of the world. Only someone who has walked the road you have walked will truly be able to help you pick yourself up.
In between my IVF cycles, I undertook a survey of 194 women who have had successful IVF cycles, just to get a better idea of what kind of statistics to expect. And my findings were pretty interesting. Of the women polled:All these were 3-day transfers, with the average test date for a positive result being 11dp3dt (11 days after a 3-day transfer).
- 62% of them were on their 1st try
- 25% of them were on their 2nd try
- 7% of them were on their 3rd try
- 3% of them were on their 4th try
- 1% were on their 5th try
- 2% were on their 6th (and above) try
All these were 3-day transfers, with the average test date for a positive result being 11dp3dt (11 days after a 3-day transfer).