We recently shared with our Instagram family (that’s the hint to follow us on Instagram, if you ain’t ☺), a quote on adoption, where the writer said, “Adoption isn’t about giving up a child. It is about giving a child more! More love, more family, more opportunities…just more.”
It was a quote that resonated with our mommas over there, and one of them commented, “Yes, more of everything good.” This is a feeling most adoptive moms can relate with. The joy that comes into their lives when they meet their baby is just so out of this world. It is just more of everything good.
One mom, Tutu, described it thus, “It was as though I got the whole of heaven in my arms that day. I couldn’t let go of my baby. I was full of joy…but a teeny tiny bit of me was also afraid someone would take him back.”
No one took that momma’s baby, and this year, that young man is just a year short of turning a teenager and set to dwarf his momma at the rate he is just growing taller. Being a special boy, he gets to celebrate two special days a year. His birthday and his adoption anniversary, although the former is a bit more elaborate than the latter, which is often very intimate and special in its own way.
The decision to celebrate his adoption anniversary didn’t come easy though. You know, it was hard for Tutu to explain to her son whilst he was still younger, what they were celebrating, and later, it was hard to explain to people the reason they were celebrating, without sharing too much of their private business.
However, the anniversary of that day always brought out some inexplicable joy in Tutu, so she started to celebrate it, with a cake and a present for the young man. It was just a special day. When Tutu and her husband eventually shared with him how he came into their lives, the day took on new meaning also for him. Their entire household looked forward to it. They planned things they would be doing on that day. It was just the three of them, but as the years went by, some of their family members got the happiness bug too and joined in.
Outsiders still wonder, “It’s not anybody’s birthday but they are celebrating.” Yes, they might never understand, unless they are explained to that Tutu is celebrating the day wonder came into her life, in the form of her son.
For another mom, Esther, her adoption anniversary was one she, her husband and her then 17 month old son celebrated, once the adoption process was finalised.
It was a bit of a wait before they could bring him home, but once he was home, the date was nicknamed Family Day, and that means it is a work-free day for both of them. Thank God for them, they run their own businesses and can afford to take the time off.
They usually spent the day doing stuff together as a family, and when their child grew older and understood the significant of the day, he basically called the shots about the activities they would have on the day.
Some years, he just wanted a cake and another, it would be a fun play with lots of sugar high. They didn’t mind, as long as he had fun on that one day.
It’s Rainbow day for Aishat and her twins girls, whom she adopted 8years ago, when they were just over two months old. They had come to her after a long and tortourous TTC journey, which yielded more heartache and physical pain than moved her closer to momma land.
Till date, Aishat has never conceived either spontaneously or via assisted reproductive technology, but it doesn’t really matter, as her life is filled with joy, laughter and so much goodness, in the form of her daughters.
Almost everyone who knows Aishat knows how besotted she is with her girls, and the double celebration that was an annual thing in their household.
While they have always celebrated their birthdays, their adoption anniversary, which has been named Rainbow Day is usually a one-of-a-kind celebration. When they turned one, Aishat had a celebration for them, but the real deal happened on their adoption anniversary with a big rainbow themed party. The girls probably didn’t have much memory of the day, but their mom sure had fun on their behalf.
Over the years, there have been such instances too, when their birthdays were celebrated big time on their adoption anniversary. Not that the birthday itself won’t go uncelebrated, just that it won’t be a big celebration.
As the girls have grown older, they have sometimes determined which they want to celebrate in a big way, and sometimes, when Aisha is feeling flush with funds, she splurges on both celebrations.
One thing though that hasn’t changed through the years is the rainbow cake. Regardless of whether it is a big celebration or a small one, there is always a rainbow cake.
Another mom, Detayo, though not a big fan of parties and celebration, makes an exception on the adoption anniversary of her first child. A cake always graces their dinner table. It is always the reminder they need of the day that their first child came into their lives, all the way from the other end of the country.
Other children they had afterwards had simply been happy at the sight of a cake on the dinner table, but now, everyone knows the significance of that cake and it just makes their oldest child a teeny tiny bit special in their eyes.
Before you think that the adoption anniversary celebration is a must, not everyone celebrates it, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t acknowledge it. People have different ways of celebrating milestones and staying true to themselves is all that really matters.
To all the adopted babies and adoptive parents, cheers!
You literally prove by your actions every single time that love wins.
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